A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's a lovely girl I am interested in, and she in me (she has said so before).Problem is that her last boyfriend cheated on her. Things haven't been going well between us lately, and I realise that I might be pushing her, when she isn't ready for a relationship with anyone.The only problem is that I am uncertain if it is genuinely that, or if she isn't interested in me any more.Having never been cheated on, I have no idea what her current emotions are (she was cheated on by her boyfriend some time in July or early August).Am I rushing her? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 The rule of thumb would be that when somebody say they are not ready for a relationship, what they actually mean is that they are not ready for a relationship WITH YOU.
Nothing is ever etched in granite, but I have seen many,many ,many more applications of this rule , than exceptions .
Hope springs eternal :) and life motion is irresistibly forward.
Even women who have been abused , battered, cheated on and generally subjected to hell by their exes may in shock for a little while , they may say -and believe- " no more relationship " , but let a guy show up who will call to their heart, or senses, or both- and they become instantly brave and ready to challenge the odds.
But, let's give her the benefit of doubt and suppose she really means it.
Either way, don't push. You'd be probably be pushing her away from you.I think any adult likes to be taken seriously when they say something. If I say " I am not hungry " and my host keeps insisting " eat eat eat ", my annoyance for his insistence is way superior to my gratitude for his concern and attention.
I think you can only decide if you want to be patient and give her some time ( not years and years , possibly ) to see if she comes around- obviously well aware that your time and patience investment may also not pay off. Or if you 'd rather be with someone less difficult to handle and more immediately receptive to your charm, and move on .
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