Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): really like my second cousin but shes got a bf n i think my mam would go mad because its her cousins daughter i dont no what to do coz i think i love her
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Old already, I know, but I have to tell my story. i love my second cousin to death. I have loved her for 7 years and she has known for almost that long. She doesn't care. She won't even try to love me all because of being related. The pain is almost unbearable. I love her so much, more than anything, but it doesn't matter. if you love eachother, let nothing stand in the way. Love is the only thing that matters.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): i know this is years old.. but if u love them then fight for it. my and my husband are second cousins and we went through so much to be with eachother because, of course, our family wasnt happy about it. but now we are married and things are great
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): This is absolutely killing me...My first cousins daughter has turned 21 and I really hadnt seen in her in about 5 or 6 years. Even then I've only seen her a couple of times my whole life. She came back in town at 21 and my jaw dropped. To me she is the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen in my life. Im 9 years older and I usually dont like younger women but she got me! The second I saw her my heart started racing 110 miles per hour. I think about her constantly. I feel like there's something wrong with me for feeling this way but I cant help it and I have never told anyone. Our families are Italian-catholics and would probably dis-own both of us. I dont know how she feels but I can tell she flirts and I catch her looking at me once in quite a bit. I'm so close to just reverting back to the old saying,"you only live once" and going for it. But the consequences could be devastating. Especially if she's not on the same page. I do know that she's it for me. I know it. The bad thing is, is that I would be considered a very attractive guy. It's not like I need to go after her cause I cant get anyone else. I know everyone in my town and I am involved in my community fairly heavily. I feel like I would have to move if I took that shot. This sucks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Simply put, marriage between cousins is completely normal and in some parts of the world is prefered. 1 out every 1000 married couples in the US are at least third cousins and 4 out of every 1000 married couples in Japan are third cousins. Think of it this way. You live in a town with a population 7,000. If your family and your mate's family have lived in that town for at least 4 generation, you're probably related somehow. As long as you're not dallying your brother or half-brother, who gives a heck? Also, here's an interesting scientific FACT... third cousins are less likely to miscarry babies than those that aren't related.Last thing. your first cousin's children are your second cousins and your parent's cousin's children are your third cousins.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): I'm in a similar situation. I love my 32 year old cousin's daughter which i didn't even know my 32 year old cousin was my cousin. Well me and my cousin's daughter love each other so much. We have been together for so long. She is 14 and i am 15 and my parents dont know about it. Well her parents kinda know about it and they shouldn't worry because theyre cousin's too and thats 1st cousins. We are 2nd cousins and my cousin's husband is my girlfriend's stepdad. i too need help to explain all this to my parents. Ive never loved a girl this much and i know she is the one.
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male
reader, Uncle_Phil  +, writes (19 January 2008):
 I know this is a quite old post, but everyone needs to know - there's nowhere in the world that bars a relationship or marriage with a second cousin! It's legal EVERYWHERE!
Just google 'cousin marriage' if you don't believe me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): I feel your pain honey...I'm also falling for my second cousin and though I'm an adult, my parents will still freak when they find out. I'm in my early 30's and he's in his late 40's but we're falling in love with each other. We recently found out we were second cousin and it still doesn't change the way we feel about each other.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): "We're second cousins, and my parents would freak if they knew we're in love!"
Hey I understand. I have the same problem. I'm in love with my
dad's cousin's daughter too. I love her so much and I can't stop thinking about her. I know people think it's wrong, but I can't help it. I know she's the one for me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007): Im in love with my second cousin as well. I believe he feels the same way because he told me that there was something betwwen us and that i was the most beutiful girl he has ever seen. he also said that he knew we would be together someday. Then his girlfriend found out that he said this and started a fight with me. to make a long story short, we do not talk anymore. but i know that he is the one for me. so if u have the oppertunity to fight for it u should!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): I used to like my seconed cousin and i still do trust me if you really like him do whatever it takes
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): a second cousins is i think is when your cousin's has a son or dauther's and then that son or dauther has a son or dauther. and the rest goes on the same whey.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): i think that you should do what ever it takes to still be with him even if u are second causins...But are you guys really related....is there alot of blood that you guys share? idk i think u should still be with him. tell ur parents when u think that u are ready.
GOOD LUCK!
STACIE, 15
EXPERENCED
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): ...........i know that this kind of problem is so hard 2 decide
i have d same situation
i love my 2nd cousin
fight 4 it....................
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): were d' same problem and i know what you feel right now........................
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): how old are you now?
regardless of what either of your parents think, they should understand that this boy means the world to you, and if you haven't told them yet, how do you know how they are going to react. you may find that they already have an idea, and that they are just waiting for you to bring it up to discuss their feelings about it with you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): My parents are second cousins and I'm one of four kids. We all are 'normal'! Good luck with your relationship, but don't let this challenge over shadow whats really important - That you are both happy together.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): This might sound so bizarre because it doesn't really tie in. But how far does your blood-line go?
What about my cousin's second cousin?! Is that taboo?
(second cousin is the son/daughter of a parent's cousin, right?!)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): I am a normal 21 year old girl who doesn't have a problem getting or keeping a man. For some unknown reason I have fallen for my second cousin. I worked with this guy and he had a last name like some of my family members. We decided we weren't related (we had never seen each other at family reunions or anything of that sort), but we didn't do any research. He was with someone and I was with someone, so we would innocently flirt back and forth. I switched jobs and we lost touch. I saw him at the bar a year and a half later and we talked, laughed, and I went home with him. The next day we were talking and realized we really are related. I found out he is my second cousin. We are both trying to decide whether or not to pursue this relationship. It wasn't that the sex was great, there was a bond between us that was undeniable. That was the best night of my life. When I found out we were related, I felt sick. It felt so taboo, then I started reading the research on the internet about it and blogs of people in the same position as me and you. I wonder if second cousin marriage is as uncommon as we all assume? So, here I sit in the same boat as you, trying to decide what to do and how to tell our parents. Good luck to you and everyone else who is in the same predicament.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007): Ya so I have the same issue!! Yesterday i meet my 2nd cousin for the second time ever! I am 15 and he is 18 We instantly started hanging out and were together all night. Then he brings me to his room and says it didnt matter we were related i mean we werent 1st cousins...I really like him so much and i can't stop thinking about him. If my parents or his ever found out we liked eachother they'd proabably kill us...best of luck i hope things work out for both of us
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): My second cousin was the secret love child of my Dad's cousin. He had never met anyone in our family until he attended his father's funeral. He was thinking of moving into my area and I guess someone gave him my number because he called me out of the blue to introduce himself. We were both around 32 at the time. We had a wonderful conversation and we started talking daily. About a month later, he visited me. We had an immediate attraction. Long story short, we ended up having sex that weekend.
I felt weird afterwards. Oddly enough, I wasn't as bothered by us having sex as I was at the thought of having a relationship with him. Sex was a intimate act between two people. Privately, in my mind, he could be just a guy I met and liked. However publicly, he would always be my second cousin and everyone would know it. I told him my feelings and decided I wouldn't see him or talk to him anymore. However, he wanted to pursue a relationship and continued to try to see me for quite a while. In his mind, since we hadn't known each other before we got together, we weren't really cousins and it didn't bother him to have a relationship with me. But I say blood is blood no matter how unfamiliar.
My advice is that anyone in such situations should decide to do what they can live with. No matter how much I liked my cousin, I couldn't live with seeing him. However, he had no problem with us being together.
It's a few years later and I only think of this now because he has contacted me again. I am struggling as to whether I will return his call. But my view towards him hasn't changed: I probably could sleep with him again if the attraction was still there but I still would never have a relationship with him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): Yall need to end the relationship between the two of yall.It
is one thing to not know that yall are second cousins.However you must end the relationship and not mix up those genes.Young lady please give it time,and I am sure
you will find someone that looks hotter to you than your cousin.No more older than you are you have plenty of time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): i have the same problom my boyfriend is my second cousin but i never get to see him he lives 5 hours away from me and my parents will freak if they knew my boyfriend was my cousin as a manter of a fact they dont even know i have a boyfriend so i know how you fell well see ya and good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): look i know how you feel i have a boyfriend but he is really my cousin but when i went back to washitan d.c i was gone for two years and when i finally came to see him he forgot that we were together but then when i kissed him he said what are you doing? i said to him remeber the girl that kissed you on the night she left and never came back in till know? he said REALLY! were is she i said im here. he was so enberessed he said to me forgive me ok i said but he told me we have to keep are love a secret and let no one konw that were together so im also worried if anyone knew that were together your like a sister cuz you have the same seceret as me and thanks for letting me share this with some one i know i can trust your now my contac sis so see ya sis
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): i think you and i have the same problem my dad now but my mom doesn't and if my mom find out she will break me and my boyfriend up but if i was you keep it on the low until you guys are over age because they will break you guys up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): Im in the exact same situation.Before I tell you I just want to consider you that I reaserched and this is what I found.1st cousins have about 1/8 chance to have the same genetics witch can be considered of how the baby might come out.2nd cousins have about 1/32 chances to have the same genetics and can maby be considered that the baby can come out fine unless you are cousins of both your mom and dad.3rd cousins have about 1/128 chances to have the same genetics and are on less danger to produce unhealthy offsprings on a baby.But we all have to consider that we are all humans and are related in some way. So we are all family in a way and even if two people that are nothing of family can have a risk on having an unhealthy baby.So baby girl if ya know you 2 were ment for each other than cant nothing stop you two.Sure it migh be complicated but no one has it easy in life you have to fight for it because if you know you made the right choises than in the end itll all be worth it.Please consider that:)Dont make the wrong choises so you can go on the wrong path make the right ones to happines.Love means sacrifise and if you know its worth it than you know what you have to do.You live life only once so live it well with someone thats gonna make your life happy.Your only 16 so you also have to consider that your parents might consider that to be too young for you to make the right choises.So wait till your 18 and till you get to that age show them that your ready for the real wrold.So it can be esier for them to understand that you know what your doing and what your doing is right so make them proud and figh for "YOUR"
happines.Its your life not theirs and all your parents want is for you to learn to make the righ desisions.Sure maby when you get older and leave with him your parents might freak out but time is the key and as time passes they'll understand and it might come that in the end your parents might be proud of what you did and it will show that they taught you well.MUCH LUCK!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):):)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): Well, lets put it this way. You're not exactly destroying your life through drugs, prostitution and the like. It can become so difficult to break away from someone you're so fond of, no matter if they're your cousin or second cousin or whatever. Yes, at first it does come accross as a "sensitive" issue, but if you've consulted both sides of the family and they seem to be in agreement then you why not? Besides, your genetics are covered in terms of your biology and psychologically - well, that depends on both of you and how well you communicate with each other on the topic.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): A couple of years ago, i was working at a place and a guy started working there. We started really liking each other and we started hanging out. When I told my mom about it she told me he was my second cousin. I cried for almost 2 hours, but we kept hanging out after that.
Long story short, he is now married to a girl that his mom can't stand. She's rather him be married to me "if you weren't cousins." And since he found out that I work in the city he lives in now, he's came by my work a couple of times. My boss is cool with it. We were talking and he admitted that he was equally upset but when his dad asked what was wrong, he didn't want to tell him that he loved his cousin.
Now, I sit here confused. Did he really love me? And why didn't he tell me? Was he just scared? I've gotten curious about what other people do when it comes to this...And started looking up things about second cousins.. And it's kind of ironic that people think its a sin because I asked God to send me the man he wanted me to be with. Well then I started being in contact with my cousin again... then he started coming by a lot. So I'm just confused and sometimes finding myself wanting his to get divorced.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): I'm in a similar situation. I love my 32 year old cousin's daughter which i didn't even know my 32 year old cousin was my cousin. Well my cousin's daughter is my age and she loves me too, we love each other so much. I don't know what to do my parents don't know, but her step dad and mom does. Her step dad doesn't like me, but her mom/my cousin does know and agrees with our love. So i don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): i have been with my boyfriend for a while now not knowning we were second cousins, hes 19 im 17 {my dad an his mum are direct cousins}. We found out just 3 days ago and were stil unsure what to do!! We both recently fell in love with each other too so its alot harder then a short fun relationship if you know what im saying..
Its difficult making the decision as we are going through this too but i think if your happy go for it your family might not agree to start off with but then they might see how in love the two of you are..
hope i have helped in a way because me an my boyfriend are trying to work out what to do and what people would think but its up to you both to decide what ever makes you happy.x.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): don't worry. I have the same problem. the point is that you should do what you wanna do. if you guys really and TRULY love each other, what should stop you? you're parents don't like it? don't change your mind. what's really gonna stop this anyway? you probably don't see your parents during certain parts of the day, so just call your cousin when your parents aren't around and try to meet up somewhere. hope this helps you, good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2007):
I am in a similar situation.. I am inlove with my grandmothers nephew. (second-cousin) We are miles aways from one another and although there are some people in my family already that are married with children to their second cousins, sometimes i feel weird. I love him so much. I just hope that we can get married have children and be happy. What i wonder the most is ..Is second cousin blood line really that close?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006): I have a similar situation. I am also in love with my second cousin, but neither of our parents know we are in love. I rarely get to see him, because he lives 2 hours away from me. (My mum and his dad are cousins). I understand what you mean. Also, how can your parents not know you're seeing each other? Surely they must have some idea?? I feel for you honey!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006): How did you know you'd fallen in love though?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): Hun iv been through a situation so similar to urs only my parents did find out an i cant see him my best advice to u is wait until ur old enough to be on ur own an then go get him!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): Hun iv been through a situation so similar to urs only my parents did find out an i cant see him my best advice to u is wait until ur old enough to be on ur own an then go get him!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): it seems that everyone has an opinion to something that had never happened to them. until you have experienced it yourself. and if you dont have and knowledge higher that high school genetices then shutup. genetics is far more complex than what they teach you in high school. i was just as against cousin relationships as the next guy. until i met a cousin that i never grew up with, but know about and saw maybe couple times in my life. And everything i "believed" in didint matter. we fell in love when i saw again when i was 19. so you never know all you closed minded one way natzi ppl./
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2006): Believe me, I know what you're going through... oh do I know what your going through! There is a nine year age gap between me and my second cousin, and I love him sooo much. He has feelings for me too. His mom isn't so bothered by it. She knows a bit about it and just says 'Whatever makes you happy' But if my mom and dad found out.. he would die.. And I know this for a fact. I'm struggling with it right now whether or not I want to pursue something like this. And for me, it isn't really what other people (outside my family) would say to me.. Screw them... it's the people closest to me that I fear upsetting..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2006): hi
i think there is nothing wrong to love your cousin. i was also love my second cousin. my mum and her dad are direct cousin, my aunty and uncle, they wanted me to marry my cousin. even i have their agrreement i still think and considering, the think is, marry is not out off passion or shopping for what you need. marry a long commitment and a willing to accepted each ohter and help each other and learn from each other as day --- time goes on. me personally tent to think what the problem I will see in the future. what the people around you think how it will effect your life and children to come. more fact is that you love each other, for my case i love her and i think she also have a feeling that she know i love her. and we 25 and 26 years old. how is your family restriction about marry second cousin. is it appropriate in your costom. my mum she marry to her cousin and my umcle he marry to his cousin. me and my cousin blood are fare but our lin are connect.
nothing wrong with it either... cuz I like my second cousin and she knows it,she say's it's wrong but i know she's lying cuz she acts different but i'm 17 and she's 14 but i'm scared to pursue after it also cuz i'm a little unsure of how she really feels but if it is woth it don't let anyone stand in the way of true love
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2005): love is hard to come by so make sure u fight for it!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): im 15 nd i find my 14 year old third cousin to be hott but were family soo thats kina weird...but if she liked me than id say screw it...but your second cousins thats closer than third...but i dont realy know what youd do in a perdiciment like that... the only way it would work is if you come clean and tell some one of this problem...i dont consider this insest beacuse its not the direct family member its further in the family tree soo i guess its ok for you to to love eachother... hope this helps
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2005): There's nothing wrong with it at all. What religion fobids it? Not Catholicism. Why is it now "ok" for homosexuals to be happy but people who happen to share some genetics can't be? It would not be a big deal if it just happened to occur more often. It used to happen all the time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2005): I see nothing wrong with it either... cuz I like my second cousin and she knows it,she say's it's wrong but i know she's lying cuz she acts different but i'm 17 and she's 14 but i'm scared to pursue after it also cuz i'm a little unsure of how she really feels but if it is woth it don't let anyone stand in the way of true love
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2005): Like others, I am in the same boat. Trust me, I'm a normal 23 year old girl living in the north east. I'm about to graduate college. I even have all of my teeth. I have no problem getting men but for some twisted and unknown reason, I have fallen for my second cousin. God, it's embarrassing, but we have to get over it. All of my friends know and a lot of his too. Granted it took them some getting used to, but now we're like "couple of the damn year". Our families don't know that we're together even though we LIVE TOGETHER. Also to the girl who said that it goes against religion, the bible actually says that you shouldn't sleep with immediate family (ie: brothers, sisters, ma, pa... haha). Second cousins can have normal children (I don't think I'm going down that road though). Good luck to anyone who has the balls to pursue their own happiness... and stay strong.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2005): i am in exactly the same predicament.Im 26 and he is 32 and we are also second cousins. My parents know we are together but his know nothing about me. My dad and his dad are full cousins and dont get on either. We have been together a year and a half and i have had to issue him an ultimatum - if he doesnt tell them by end of this month we will have to break up. Although it will break my heart it is the only way otherwise we can never progress our relationship.
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female
reader, 81605slygurl +, writes (18 August 2005):
I don't like what Becky05 had to say and those others who think that it isn't illegal to marry or have a relationship with your cousin or even second cousin because in a lot of places, it is! If you are religious, it is definately a no-no!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2005): I have the same problem too..I love my cousin and we have a forbidden love. I know how you feel. I think that what you should do is you should tell your parents and really try to let them understand your feelings for each other.
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