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Weird female masturbation technique which is bad?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 26 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *oppins writes:

Hi..

Well first things first- I have been mastrubating since I was 5 years old. I found this new 'game' and kept it secret. Soon I developed my own 'technique' of getting an orgasm.

I've been doing this for 14 years now..

What bugs me is the way I do it:

It's really weird and I doubt that I will be able to reach orgasm in any other way...:(

I put a fist between my legs-high enough for my lady bits to be squeezed,I lay on one side and then I squeeze my thights and move them so it feels pressurable. It is called humping I believe?

I found that each time me and my boyfriend get close I am not able to orgasm,and I am not able to orgasm any other way! I don't want to keep doing this in the future and I don't want it to affect me...

Plus someone told me that humping technique is really bad especially if you're wanting to have sex with someone.

I'm lost and confused-normaly women touch themselves while laying on the back and using two fingers to touch there.. And I'm..well a freak?!

Please,please,please help me out! How do I stop using this? How do I find the right way to mastrubate? Or is it too late?....

View related questions: orgasm

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A female reader, cutiepie_88 United States +, writes (26 December 2009):

well let me tell you that you are not the only one. i started masturbating like this when i was about 6 years old. i have been hooked ever since. I read a porn or watch a porn video and as soon as i get turned on, i go lay down on my stomach and hump my fist.. and thats the only way i can reach an orgasm. my boyfriend and i have been sexually active for a year and a half and never once have i reached an orgasm having sex so i have to fake them. i have tried to stop this but i am so hooked.. so dont feel like your some kind of freak because i assure you theres a lot more girls that have our little problem.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009):

i am totally the same way! i have to lay on my stomach and hump my fist, and i have been doing that since i was 5. i'm so relieved to hear that i'm not the only one! it was wierd at first for me to get orgasms any other way, but my favorites that you can try are: dry humping- this seems to give me the same feeling orgasm; and fingering- you just have to find the g-spot... fingering gives me a different feeling orgasm. and every now and then oral will work for me too. i hope this can help you out! i know how you feel!

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2009):

BettyBoup agony auntWow your story is so similar to mine I'm amazed! I have been masturbating since as long as I can remember and I've done it the same way as you except with an open palm. I've never told anyone about this, because, well, it's emabarracing and I've never heard of anyone else doing this or from so young. I've never had an orgasm with a man although I've learnt to come with a vibrator inside me and clenching so you can learn different ways to orgasm. I guess you just need to try different things with your boyfriend and hopefully one day it'll happen. I certainly hope so myself!

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A female reader, Poppins United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2009):

Poppins is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all so much for calming me down and for such great advice! I truly appreciate it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009):

You need to get a vibrator. Now. Choose a relatively thick one, and set it on a low setting. Press it up against yourself, much like you would your fist. It will be a slightly different feeling, but still familiar. Once you are more "relaxed," start exploring with small amounts of penetration.

I promise, you are NOT a freak. The trick is to find something that will be a balance to what has worked for so long, and what you want with your boyfriend, and use it to transition one to the other. However, another thing to consider is your definition of 'orgasm.' Physically, most 5 year old females are not capable of a true orgasm.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 February 2009):

Honeypie agony auntOrder a pu$$y pleaser.( that is the name) It's a small vibrating suction cup ish thing, that will tickle you to a climax, use it while you have sex with your boyfriend. You Can use it as soft or hard as you like. Or another vibrating toy.

There is, like another poster wrote, not a right or a wrong way to get orgasm though masturbation. What you might want to try is different methods, when you are by yourself. Some get of by only manipulating the clitoris others need penetration. Try it in the tub ( get a waterproof "buzzer" or use fingers) - the shower, sitting in a chair .. whatnot.. have fun with it and stop being ashamed that you like a good hump! I bet you if you try and experiment you will find other ways to get off.

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009):

my god 5 years old???? wow. wow. fair play.

my guess is that because you've been doing it for so long, you've become very used to the normal run of the mill methods and need something very different. i would say that a bit of kinky sex is wat you need. some toys, an outfit maybe, a bit of roleplay, maybe your boyfriend's fist??

experimentation is obviously the way to go - you've been doing it since you were 5! dont worry, have fun trying out new things and im sure that you'll find loads of ways to have an orgasm. buy a karma sutra book and start trying out the positions, there's no way that you wont find one to tickle your fancy!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009):

5 years old!?!?!? you might just be used to that way of reaching orgasm try doing it by simply fingering yourself for a while. try lots of different ways to achieve pleasure with your boyfriend.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009):

My ex-wife used to do almost the same thing only witrhout a fist. She could squeeze her thighs together and by doing this she could have an orgasm. So, we would have sex in the "spoon" position so that while I was inside her she could still squeeze her thighs together and enjoy the feeling of me being inside her as well.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009):

You're NOT a freak, though that was entertaining to read. "I have been masturbating since I was 5 years old!" Excellent. The friends I've shared this information with usually shake their heads at me - not in disbelieve or disgust, but for the effect of, "Ah that makes a lot of sense now." [laughs]

Right, the RIGHT way to masturbate is THE WAY you find the pleasure in. That's it. There is absolutely NO SUCH THING as one particularly correct way. A 'way' is what you make of it. If you require a the edge of a booming boom box to help get you off, then you require a booming boom box to help get you off. If you need to pinch one ear while flicking your clit and yell, "I AM POWERFUL!" to get you to orgasm, then you will require pinching one ear while flicking your clit and yelling "I AM POWERFUL!" to get off.

There is no particularly right way. The most right way is your way.

As for getting off with your boyfriend, just do whatever you need to do to get off. Sex is experimentation, communication, fun, testing, trial and error, etc, etc.

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