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We were talking about losing our virginity to each other, but then 2 weeks later he lost his to another girl! Now he wants me more than ever I don't know what to do....

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 July 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *iebler33 writes:

Well, i have been talking to this guy and weve liked each other since childhood.one day we asked each other about our virginity and we both admitted we were. I believe in abstinence,none the less i was willing to loose my virginity to him. But a couple weeks later i found out he had recently lost his virginity,(about 2 weeks after our conversation) and i was so deeply hurt,i dont want to loose my V to him anymore because i feel dissapointed and a bit violated. Now that hes not a virgin hes anxious to have sex with me so much-it almost seems like he forgot about my abstinence. Im so lost i don't know what i should do..help?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010):

Well the thing is that girls and boys think differently about the opposite sex, you like him, he wants to shagg you. I'm pretty sure you will regret loosing it to him so I'd try to move on and tell him it's been ruined.

You might like him but he is trying to use you for sex because he's a horny little boy who obviously doesn't care about your feelings

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010):

There is probably no way in HE double hockey sticks that you will ever end up married to this silly little boy.

For one, you are too young to know who or what you want in a relationship and secondly you both are going to be different people than you are right now five years and ten years down the road, it would be a huge mistake to live your today based on a pretend future.

Everyone is right here, what he did after talking to you is all you need to know. He is only after a sexual experience, raging hormones do that to a young guy, that is why his intentions and words can't be trusted, his behavior says it all.

I know you have feelings for him, you can still be his friend if you like, but nothing more than that, and I mean NOTHING.

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A female reader, JADEYSPADEY93 United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2010):

Alot of people on this website never seem to weigh the other side along the other, if you get my meaning. I try to look at things differently.

First of all, has he proved to you he is sorry for what he has done? And no, I don't mean by sending you a text every day saying he's sorry. Has he gone out of his way to make it clear to you he's been out of order, and very disrespectful? If he has, then let him suffer a little longer. The longer they try, the more they care. If you ignore him, (which is hard I know, I've been there) and he gives up, you know exactly what he was after. If he continues to pester you, and i mean for a good 1-2 months, then sit down and talk about what he did and why he did it. Make it clear he hurt you.

Please remember, you're under the age of consent. I know it's really annoying when people tell you that! But, sex shouldn't be the only thing on your mind right now! For a typical 13-15 year old boy however, it is.

At the end of the day, it is your decision, and only you can decide what to do. But, don't let your heart rule your head.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntI agree, don't sleep with him YOU will regret it. Obviously he wasn't the right person to share first time sex with. If he could wait mroe then 2 weeks to have sex with jsut ANYONE (again, obviously he didn't give a flying fart about the girl he DID sleep with).

Seems to me all he wants is to have the "bragging rights " of taking your virginity. If being a virgin means that much to you I strongly suggest you wait til you find someone you will NOT regret having your first time with.

Also, when you DO find that guy, make sure you guys use protection.

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A female reader, diebler33 United States +, writes (13 July 2010):

diebler33 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

diebler33 agony auntThank you it is a big help seriously. (I dont want to make excuses) but i feel for him i always have,so what would you say if me and him talk things out [ and i manage to move on from this ] do you think it would ever be possible to start new and one day (marriage or not) be with him honestly?

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (13 July 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntStay strong, you don't want to turn into a doormat straight off the bat.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2010):

k_c100 agony auntDont do anything! He is clearly just a horny young boy and now wants to have sex with everything in sight, and you deserve better for your first time!

First things first it is illegal for you to be having sex anyway so keep that in mind. You have the right idea to cherish your virginity and believing in abstinence - so dont give it away to an idiot like him!

The most important thing about your first time is that it must be special - you need to be in a long term relationship with that person, you need to really love and care for each other deeply. It is not always important that you are both virgins, but what is most important is that it is something you are comfortable with, and something that you will look back on fondly rather than regretting it. And if you have sex with this boy I can tell you now you will regret it!

So just tell this boy that you are sorry but you believe in abstinence and you are not willing to have sex with him, not now and not ever. He should get the message and I'm sure he will move on to the next easy girl that comes his way.

Make sure you wait for the right guy, losing your virginity is a big deal and dont let anyone pressure you into thinking otherwise. Do what is right for you and dont listen to silly little boys like him who only think with their d**ks.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010):

defo do not sleep with him - for him it seems sex is just sex and for you, its more than that and you deserve more than losing your virginity to someone who just wants sex. Wait it out, find a nice guy ... someone who truely deserves you and who you truely love. Not just some random (though you have known him a long time) who may or may not be in your life in 10 years time. Also your listed as being aged 13 - 15 years old, do you really wanna risk habving a kid before you have even finished high school or college????? Believe it or not, not everyone is having sex even if they say they are ... i lost my virginity at 23 and i am so glad i waited as that was the perfect time for me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010):

He doesn't deserve you. Now he has had sex he feel he needs it so badly and is turning to you for it because he will think he has a chance. It's a real shame this happened to you but now I think you need to move on and tell him he's blown it.

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A female reader, Tasty United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2010):

don't feel pressured into having sex with anyone you do it when you feel the time is right for you but to be honest you should really wait until you are in a stable relationship with someone and you are both ready.. expalain to this boy how its made you feel what hes done and if you have feeling for him tell him....

Remember always use protection... xxx

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