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We were getting on great until I told him I have kids

Tagged as: Family, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 March 2010)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok, this is another situation that I'm starting to have. Its kinda related to my previous experience with me and a married man. About 8 months ago I met another man that started working with us. We immediately got attracted to each other just by looking, like a love at first sight. We both felt it but none said anything. Well, when he left to go work at our main office in NY, we started instantant messaging each other and continued for a few weeks. The conversations were like an online flirting with each other. We even said that we like each other. I didn't tell you this yet, but I have kids. I hadn't told him, we'll call him Justy. I hadn't told Justy that I had kids. When I finally did, he replied with a "What a surprise" and from there on, the conversations diminished. And one day, they just ended. Well, then he travaled back to our office. I have this really good friend and he and her started flirting with each other, people noticed this and so did I. Well he was only here for a few weeks and there was no contact with him and I. So he left. Never talked again. He came back this week Feb 22. We didn't talk until Friday. But let me tell you what happened in between. My friend went out to dinner with him, not sure how it happened. Nothing happened between them. This was one day, Monday, Feb 22. Well Tuesday Feb 23, my friend invited him to to talking on the trail. Then they went to get a drink, then she went to drop him off at his hotel, he didn't have a car. And he invited her in. Once inside, things heated up a little. She told me the whole story. They started kissing, he was touching her breasts but not taking any clothes off. So they were kissing and he was kinda just not doing nothing else. She tells him, she's a virgin. He tells her, you should do this with someone special not with me, plus we cannot do anything because I'm the owners newphew. So he got no BJ, but she slept over together with him in his bed but he didn't touch her all night. She got up while he was still sleeping and left. She told me this right the next morning. I was very sad, because this is the a guy that I really really like a lot. I don't know why he did this with her and not with me. Any way wed and thurs then Friday we all went to lunch, not my friend. And he said this directly to me "you love themarriedguysname" I said I don't love him anymore. I was with him before but I am not anymore he is not in my life anymore. I told him that this married guy was an as...... and that I just didn't care about him anymore. Well now I'm not sure what Justy things about me. I don't know if he still likes me. He was asking around to see if I was dating anybody and I guess somebody told him. I really like Justy and I want him back. How do I do it or what do I tell him so that he can come back and like me again? Or is it too late? :(

View related questions: breasts, flirt, kissing, married man

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010):

Just one line

Get over that guy.

find a reasonable match for you.

BTW, where is your husband? you have kids from a guy, then you can try luck with the same guy. Life will be much more easy for you. else i can bet once your Kids will kick you out and abuse you for not doing justice with them.

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A male reader, Gabe121 United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2010):

Fact is most guys just won't be interested in a single mother - unless the guy already has kids of his own.

I hate to be blunt but I don't think you have a chance with this one, better to move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010):

You were flirting with someone and forgot to tell them you had kids - not just one either.

This is neither good for you, nor for your kids nor for the guy.

If he wants to find you, he will. Otherwise your really liking someone does not mean they like you back, with your baggage.

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A male reader, weparley United States +, writes (27 February 2010):

I can see the selfishness you have, I can EVEN see, with US readers that you barley mention your kids. (So none shulant about it)

As if your kids were a mistake and you're just putting up with it.

It's clear that this man doesn't want you. (Get over it)

It's also clear he's just looking to screw any and everything that comes his way. That story about your co worker sounds too far fecthed. "I don't believe that one bit" it's more to that story. That's just the version (YOU) get. LOL!! Also You sound desperate for a man to come in your life. You can tell by your story that you get overly worked over the smallest matters.

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