A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday me and my boyfriend were fooling around and well basically we were naked in his bed and at first we were just messing around but as we got carried away he was on top and he tried to "go in" [dont worry 1. I was okay with this 2.we had protection] but it hurt really bad even though he was going really slowly.. he didnt go in because well "the hole" was too small and pushing in felt literally like tryina push a big key into a small hole.. i dont know if that's how its meant to be because if it is it would hurt like crazy and i dont think it would be possible... also he went down on me and he did finger me but "the hole" was still way too small for him to enter me... Please can someone explain to me how its supposed to work I feel really silly asking this question... but em yeah please.. and thank you [Also if this is relevent then my boyfriend is quite wide ... length mostly depends on how aroused he is buh i would say "good" sized.. but definately wide.. and also this is the first guy i've been sexually active with..]Also I've read in some other questions/answers on this site about "lubricants"? i know what a lubricant is but can someone give me examples of a lubricant.. and well how to use them and how I might bring it up with my boyfriend...Thank you so much for your help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): i just wanted to thankyou becausde you have helped me alot because i was really but coniuos aswell thanx love youxxxxx
A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (3 June 2007):
 How could I possibly follow India's advice? ;)
I just wanted to add that in England places like Superdrug & Boots sell lubricants... They're usually kept on the shelves right above/underneath the condoms. Durex do a fun range of ones that warm up or tingle.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Variety +, writes (3 June 2007):
 Hey hun,
Don't worry about this! It happens to a lot of people. I happened with me and my boyfriend. I may be bcause your body just wasn't ready at that time. You say you were just fooling around and then he decided to have sex with you and you were ok with that. However, sex isn't just the act of penetration - it includes the foreplay. The more you have, the more relaxed you will be, and the easier it will be for your boyfriend to get into you. It wasn't that it was too small (think about it - a baby can fit out of there so a penis can fit in!) just that you weren't relaxed or 'wet' enough for him to be able to get in easily.
For lubrication it would be best to go to your local boots and just have a look. If you are using a condom you should use a water-based lube as otherwise it could damage the condom (durex do one specifically for use with condoms). You could even take your boyfriend with you to loo at them. There are some that can maximise pleasure for the both of you so have fun experimenting with different types!
Relax. It will happen.
xxxxx
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  + ♥, writes (3 June 2007):
 Hi there sweetness,
Well, you're not the only one who has had a difficult time losing her virginity. I know the feeling. For me, I just couldn't relax, it was painful, he just couldn't "get in" (like you, I was just too small, too tight) and it took us a month - yes, a MONTH, to finally do it!
But, the experience of getting to that point was a blast, and I hope that you're having fun too. Remember that you and your boyfriend will eventually get this right and have the rest of your lives to have sex... so for the time now, have fun with each other, laugh and try to alleviate any pressure.
As for lubrication, my favorite is KY Warming Liquid. It warms up on contact, it's not sticky, it doesn't leave a big icky residue, and it lubrications really nicely. You can get lubricant anywhere - Wal Mart, Rite Aid, Walgreens (I don't know any English stores, but I hope you get the idea). Pretty much any convience store will have them.
As for how to bring up the topic of lubricant with your significant other, well... not really a big deal. If anyone is familiar with the fine art of lubrication, it's men. In fact, I think he'll prefer using lubricant. Most couples make use of lube, so it's not an outrageous thing for the bedroom.
Also, for lubricant - you could go to an adult store. They have plenty, plenty, PLENTY of lubricant. So many kinds, it will blow your mind!! Also, I don't know if you've ever used any sex toys, but they're a good way for you to practice on your own.
Next time you and your boyfriend start to get hot and heavy (and make sure you have plenty of time. Don't rush this experience!!), make sure that you involve lots of foreplay, Take your time, enjoy each other and make sure that you have FUN. Talk, laugh, explore. Sister, this is what's going to make losing your virginity special, personal and outrageously amazing.
When he's beginning to enter you, make sure you're nice and wet, both naturally and lubricated...Ask him to take thngs verrryyyy slowly. Inch it in, slooowwwlllyyy. Use your own hand to guide him in and set the pace. I can not stress enough, that you should do this slowly. Build up!
The first time or two, sex will feel a little awkward, and a little painful (for some girls it's not bad at all, for some girl it hurts like mad) - but in time it will feel good.
So, in conclusion.. Losing ones virginity - nearly pain free! - takes: time, patience, communication and lubrication.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (3 June 2007):
Hi! Here's a Crash-Course in sex-101. you and your Boyfriend need to know some basic things about a woman's vagina. First-off it's a wonderful,and marvelous organ.When it's closed, which is most of the time.You only see the outer Vaginal Lips, the Major Labia. And so we kind of think of the vagina as only having one set of lips, but it really has two sets. and just below the Major Labia is other set of lips. This second set of vaginal lips are called the Minor Labia. Both of these sets of vaginal lips, most of the time, are folded-up, much like the folded petals of a flower.It takes lots of Foreplay, Touching, hugging kissing, and lots of whole body caressing before your vagina has become fully opens-up. And the innermost vaginal lips,the Minor Labia,has now expanded and now covers the Major Labia. Also, Now that your vagina has fully opened up, at the upper junction where these two, inner lips come together. There is a small button of flesh, Your Clitoris,("LOVE BUTTON"), as I call it. And all women's orgasms come from the direct or indirect stimulation of the Clitoris. No man's penis should come a calling until her vagina has fully opened up. As for a Penile lubricants. He can use Vaseline, but Ky-Jell is much better Do get some good books on Human Sexuality.Okay.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): I went through the same thing you did. My bf couldn't fit in the hole b/c i was too small. We would fool around everday or so and every time we did we would try to put it in a little bit farther than we did the day before. this made the 'first' time that we actually did it not painful. i've heard how it can be so painful the first time; im assuming this is bc they just jammed it in the hole. just go step by step. if it hurts, stop, and continue the next day. for my bf and i it took two weeks to get the hole big enough. as far as your lubricant questions go, just go to a local sex shop, planned parenthood, or store like 7-11 or even safeway. hope this helps you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe're both virgins
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