A
female
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*una~
writes:My boyfriend and I were discussing about living together. We currently live in two different cities about 1 1/2hrs drive apart. We spend a long time thinking whether I should move up or he should move down. If he moves down, I would be able to be with my family and friends, accept an amazing job opportunity and doesn't have to deal with changes. However, my boyfriend will need to find a job from the scratch. If I move up, my boyfriend will be able to support both of our living and I can even go back to school if I want to. Besides, housing and living expense is much cheaper there. I'm not sure what to do. I have family and friend with my business opportunity vs. cheaper housing, bf's stability in job, my opportunity to go back to school. I don't mind moving up, but is it better than him moving down? Living in between 2 cities will just mean lots of gas money for both of us, which is not a good idea. Also, should I really go back to school and let my bf work to pay for both of us?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007):
If you can both look each other in the eyes and say and believe that you both want to spend the rest of your lifes together then life will find a way for you two to be together. There are always paths you can take where you are happy. Perhaps you both have to compromise but that is the nature of a relationship, especially one that is long lasting. I'm sure if you talk about it you will eventually be able to come to something that feels right for the pair of you, all the best :)
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (25 January 2007):
 hi there
i dont think any of the aunts can really tell you what to do because this is a decision that lies between you and your partner. however maybe we can try and put some insight on your ideas. first of all let me say moving to a new place whether its a city near you or afar, a house next door or any other place doesnt really make any difference because the move affects people differently, you have a ld rship and wanna move in together first of all i think you need to consider the risk that is involved because you guys arent married yet what if things dont go as planned will you start pointing fingers at each other? will you decide to stay in a relationship that is not working because you gave up so much to be with this guy? so what then? i am not trying to be negative i want you to look at the disadvantages as well because your post only stipulates the advantages. you have a lot of advantages moving or not does he? consider him as well because at the end of the day whoever moves its a compromise one have to take.
remember your family and friends will always be there no matter where you are but he might not get the same high paying job as he has right now that is also a fact think more solutions on what appears to be an obstacle to this move or challenges you may encounter in the future, i know its a risk you have to take but as you to succeed in life one have to take calculated risks.
look at this from all angles when you are done you wont have any doubt on who should move to who.
good luck
jovial
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 It depends how secure you are in your relationship to whether you're willing to let your boyfriend support you through education but then, I guess if you're planning to live with him you're planning for him to be your forever guy anyway. If you want to go back to school I'd definitely move. You'd only be 90 minutes away from your family and friends and could visit as often or as little as you wanted. You're hardly moving hundreds of miles away and going back to school with give you an opportunity to make loads of new mates.
CD
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