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We want to get my parent's permission to marry but don't know how to do it

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2015)
A female Malaysia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm from Malaysia, 25 th years old and from indian family. I has a Sikh boyfriend for 6 years, he didn't gets a chance to tell his parents because he was afraid they would not accept our relationship because the different religion and he was brahmin, vegetarian. My parent were searching a better half for me without knewing my relationship because waiting for his family members acceptance. the reason was in Malaysia, the inter marriage was accept, but i really have no idea in punjab. The whole situation put a strain in our relationship from the very beginning. He was the one for me, I loved him with all my heart, he was my life. he still wasn't sure that he could confront his parents for me, he was made promised that will talk to their parents after his sister getting married or after he gets work in USA. We just want everyone to be happy and gets their permission as our blessings for our married. Please help, i cant bare to lose him.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2015):

Denizen agony auntHe needs to man-up and face his parents. What's the worst that can happen? If they disinherit him he still has the prize - you!

When there is a difference in culture or religion it may often bring up differences but nothing trumps love.

If he is too cowardly to face his parents he isn't for you.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (2 March 2015):

janniepeg agony auntYou've been with him for 6 years so there is no excuse that he didn't get a chance. Confront him about whether his parents have arranged a girl for him. In a culture where arranged marriage is common, no one dates for 6 years in secret. The one that has to step up is your boyfriend. He is postponing using whatever reason he could come up with. Later it will be when he comes back from USA, when he's established in Malaysia. You have to take a stance for your future. He's not the one for you if he respects his family so much to disregard your concerns. I would not have prolonged the relationship 6 years with no resolve. Part of it being hard to bear is that you got your hopes high for 6 years. Hoping by being patient he would see that as a virtue but more likely he sees patience as buying time until he feels ready to get married to a girl that his parents approve of.

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