A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I've asked a similar question before but I think I'm going to ask it in a different way since I have a little more insight for what's going on. My boyfriend wants to get married after finishing his renovation projects. But when I say projects, I don't mean fixing the siding or rebuilding the deck. Oh no, I mean THREE houses that need major work. And another house with issues. So FOUR headaches.House #1 is currently, 15 feet? Off the ground while a new basement/foundation is being built and holy heck, the site is a mess. And the contractors or workers or whoever they are looking like they just got out of prison. Plus the house was built in 1902 so it itself needs new siding, complete overhaul inside etc. For some contractors having disappeared a lawyer has been hired hired.House #2 is closer to completion but the contractor is always MIA and the deck is half finished, the yard is half finished, the driveway needs to be replaced, the siding completely redone, then there are a million little details the contractor overlooked like missing vent covers etcHouse #3 needs new windows and siding, plus the tenants did considerable damage anywayHouse #4 is complete but there is a mouse problem, and the tenants lease is upBonus: a plot of land on a beachfront that's full of trees, wouldn't it be nice to build a vacation home? Says my boyfriend.He is clearly overwhelmed. He works 60+ hours a week running his own businessand is on site @ most of the places most weekends. I understand why getting married and starting a family during this time wouldn't make sense but I'm going insane because he's always busy, overdressed and exhausted and I'm going crazy. Any advice for him, and myself? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 July 2017):
 I remember your other post and well this is who he is, this is what he wants to do with his life, he wants to be busy and make money. If you are waiting for a wedding ring ( Which I am aware that you are ) then you need to look elsewhere because he is in no hurry to get married and start a family. You are both in different head spaces.
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (5 July 2017):
 He needs to off load 2 houses to another buyer as he's not handling the pressure, hires dodgy workers and dang it’s a mess when you get Lawyers involved!
He sounds like a novice to what really matters in life as he's going all guns with no regard for down time. Burnout, fatigue, *divorce could be on the horizon if nothing changes? (*yes I know you’re not married yet.)
I believe 4 Houses are causing stress to him and all persons concerned... Contractor’s labourer’s family etc... Life expectancy gets cut short with stress, poor diet and no amount of money or caviar lifestyle will get him back from the grave!
He needs to find a balance between work and family. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. Does one work to live OR live to work? A couple that plays together stays together; happy wife = happy life. I believe Men build houses, and Women build HOMES :)
For me, there are some things more important than (making) money ALL THE TIME, an empire of wealth, luxurious comfort; now what could that be? (Sure hubby can still flip houses etc.) For me it’s; TIME. What say are his and yours?
From what you say it's time for marriage and children. He evidently is saying wealth, and financial security at the expense of others waiting to start a family. And while he has buckets of ambition he too has inner fears to face.
As we all know money is needed to raise a family etc. but he appears to want all his ducks in a row first (perfection) before walking down the aisle. And as I remember your previous post, this has been going on for quite awhile... excuses, hesitancy?
EXCUSES are the nails used to build a house of failure?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 July 2017):
 THIS is who he is.
THIS is the guy YOU fell in love with.
It's a man that doesn't sit on his ass hoping the money gets handed to him. Instead, he flips houses. Hopefully, he is GOOD at it too and actually makes a profit, if not... meeh.
Talk to him about setting a date. If he really WANTS to get married taking a weekend off for the wedding and a week for honeymoon (or save the honeymoon for later)
Work with WHAT you got.
...............................
A
female
reader, suzzzque269 +, writes (4 July 2017):
 imo hes stringing you along. id walk away from this situation
...............................
|
