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We want a 3some with my best friend, But I dont want to lose either of them, what do I do ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2007) 11 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My fiance wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend. My best friend and I have had sex together twice, but he doesn't know about it. I quite like the idea and I am pretty sure she would be up for it, but I don't want to lose her or my fiance. Should we do it?

View related questions: best friend, fiance, threesome

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007):

Make sure that the three of you are okay with the situation and the terms are agreed upon. If there are no jealousy issues go ahead and have your fun. To keep it interesting save a specific act for you and your fiance. This will be something that you two will do together when you're alone and not with the third party. Start off slow if your going to do it. Hang out together, move to petting, toy use, etc. Don't dive into something to later find out that you are uncomfortable seeing your fiance with someone else.

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntI would chat with them both seriously about it before you go ahead. You can think you are all ok with it then a big can of worms can open up.

xxxxxxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007):

OK, your asked your question on 1 May, I hope you are over the 3some, if not, do not worry bacause of it, 3some does not destroy any relationship. Even intesify.

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A female reader, Handycam United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2007):

Before you make a decision on this you have to sure your relationship with your partner is 100% secure and you have no trust or jealousy issues whatsoever. Threesomes can work, despite what others say, your relationship just has to be an incredibly strong one to be able to do it. Other's have mentioned he might fancy her more than you. It's not a contest. It's about enjoying sex, not who's got the biggest boobs or who gives the best hand jobs! That's what most people don't understand. If you don't have jealousy issues then it can be fun. If you have the slightest doubt about any of it then don't do it.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2007):

Wendyg agony auntI think that the only way that 3 somes can ever work, is if all parties are not in a realtionship. Someone otherwise always gets hurt.. yes its a great fantasy, yes it sounds like it will be good fun, but in reality... it only sounds good... You already like this girl, had sex and so on... You have already had sex with your bf... its sounds as though you like sex with both of these two.. so you are going to be the jealous one when he has sex with her... I mean your the common link here... Dating him, fancying her... yeah great bring it all together, if it were just the focus on you im sure it wouldnt be so bad, but they second them two go at it... your going to regret this big time!

I wouldnt do it, no relationship I know of has survived this unless your hardened swingers! The aount of jealously that stems from this is unbelieveable... you might not think it, but there would be a lot at stake its so easy to just think and visualise the situation, but when it gets to it... its a whole different game!

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A female reader, Keria United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2007):

A lot of times these threesomes don't work, becuase the participants have all been conditioned to believe certain things, and are not yet ready to be truly open-minded. Obviously you can have sex with your fiance, and you can have sex with your girlfriend, but can you have it together? Yes, if you ALL know that sex is not love, and love is not sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007):

Soulsista is so right, and mitch is so wrong! So much can be damaged from this and so much cannot be put right. If this goes wrong then you are all going to lose out. You will lose your bloke and your best friend. I know someone who did this and the bloke went off with the girl, it happens. You may be giving free reigns to his fantasies then. Please be careful and think what you are doing.

Take care

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007):

He and she may find they fancy each other more than they fancy you. Which will be nice for them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007):

I should go ahead, sounds like you all deserve each other.

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A female reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx United Kingdom +, writes (1 May 2007):

xxxsoulsistaxxx agony auntAbsolutely not! There is obviously something there between you and her and bringing her into the bedroom will cause so many problems, it's just not worth it. I'm not saying don't experiment, if a threesome is something you both want to do, go ahead but doing it with someone you care about and don't want to lose from your life is always a bad idea.

Find another girl to join you, as long as you're both sure it's what you want. A lot of couples never recover from something like this, they just can't get over it. Make sure you're strong enough and fun is all this is about then find someone more suitable to join in.

Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007):

NO! Why lose both of them and you will if this happens. What if he fancies her more than you in the future? What if it all goes wrong and they both turn their backs on you. There is a load of what ifs. How do i know, because i did it and my bloke went off with my best friend. Please do not do it.

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