A
female
age
30-35,
*mpmysilence
writes:The story of my life. I've watched the movie (he's just not that into you[LOL]), I've talked to friends who know the guy, aaaannnd? The end result is that we are all completely clueless as to if he is interested in me or not. So I'm writing to get an outsiders point of view. I apologize if this gets a little lengthy. Here we go. I've been going to this bar for the past few months - basically all summer - and I've made friends with all the guys that work at this place. The bartender, people from the bowling alley, and the bar back/security guard. I've developed what I thought at the time was a slight crush on this security guard - who I feel I should mention is 29 years old and I'm 21 - well this turned out to be more than a LITTLE crush... more like now that I've got to know him I can't stop thinking about him and how absolutly amazing he is. Well anyway, these past 4 weeks have been amazing with the exception of this past Sunday which I will get to in a bit. It started out with me getting a little tipsy and introducing myself to him. He was kind of closed-mouthed and shy seeming. A week goes by and I came in the next Sunday night and I challenge him to a game of pool since he got done with work early. He won by a lot which I was completely embarrassed because I'm an awesome pool player but whenever he's around I can never seem to make a single shot. I also believe it's his personality to be a bit modest because he is really good pool player and he said he just gets lucky. That night we talked about a lot of different things like what he's going to school for which is music and he wants to become a musician he plays bass guitar. I told him I played lead guitar and liked to sing. At one point I adjusted my bra and he happened to look up at me before making a shot and he says "Is everything alright down there?" Of course I laughed. Then he went on to talk about luck and relationships and said that "yeah, luck is like relationships they happen when you least expect them too." The next Sunday comes around and I’m sitting on the opposite side of the bar and is sitting directly across from me talking to this girl with big boobs. But then he happens to glance over at me and I just catch him motioning to me saying “1 minute” because we were supposed to go play pool again. He even let me use his special pool stick that he brings with him every night he works. Well after we played pool he goes back over and talks to the girl with boobs. I give him a hug near closing time and he goes “oh that’s right youre a hugger.” And I heard him say this once before so I finally ask him “what? Youre not a hugger.” The next Thursday I come in for a friend’s birthday and he’s working that night. He sits down next to me and another guy friend and we get on the topic of ppl who spit and I think its gross. Well we flirted a lot and I ask, “So whats your number so I can ‘bug you’ on a regular basis.” He says “no, I already have enough people bugging me on a regular basis.” So he doesn’t give it to me. I don’t know if this was a blow off ? Do you think he likes me back? I really like this guy. Should I risk asking him on a date? Any and all advice/feedback I get will be much appreciated. THANK YOU!!!
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boobs, bra , crush, flirt, player, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 August 2011):
 Here are my suggestions on editing, you decide which ones might apply?
If a post repetitively says the same thing said 30 different ways, then maybe the moderator may decide that the people who answer the questions will 'get it' if the post does not say the same things repetively many times.
If a post had explicit language or named real places or named real people and could cause hurt to people or named particular things about people that might tend to identify the people? That could be cause for concern.
Also if a post contained some 'detail' that is too explicit maybe the moderator might have two choices, do they bin the whole post? For detail that says too much, or do they edit that explicit detail out so that they do not have to bin it?.
And finally if a post is extraordinally long and finding the question is difficult then perhaps the moderator might prune it in a way that makes the question more clear?
Just things to consider, i suppose? These are my suggestions. I have had a post rejected and I feel I learnt from the experience.
occasional very long post, and faced with
A
female
reader, ampmysilence +, writes (27 August 2011):
ampmysilence is verified as being by the original poster of the question well i guess the ppl who approved my questions cut out A LOT of what was going on since this isn't even a sixth of what happened. like how he was joking about kissing me and all the touching and stuff and asking my girl friend about my guy friends and seeing if we were compatible with each other via chinese astrology signs. but whatever. im seeing him tonight. but i will back off and see what happens anyway. thanks for all the advice.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 August 2011):
 He either has a girlfriend or he really isn't that interested. He seems to like you attention towards him and you seems like a nice girl to "pass" time with.
The fact that he didn't want to give you his number is a huge clue. If he had the slightest interest in seeing you outside his place of work, he would have given you his number.
I think he is a flirter/tease - he likes to get attention from pretty girls, but nothing more. HE KNOWS that you are into him, but either he is trying to be polite or he doesn't have the balls to tell you.
I would totally back off and see what he does.
Personally, I think you are wasting your time on this guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): He's a jerk! You already stuck your neck out and he rejected you. At 29, he should be man enough to give you a straight answer, but doesn't. That's a bad sign. Get over him and don't waste your precious time on him. You don't need him making you feel confused.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (27 August 2011):
 You have already given this man PLENTY of very strong hints (and that's putting it mildly) that you like him.
He can not possibly have failed to realize you want him to go on a date with you. He's clearly not interested - I mean, when you asked him for his phone number, what did he tell you? "No, I already have enough people bugging me on a regular basis."
Better to stop putting all your energies on him, and see what other guys are around who might be more interested......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): He sounds like a very flirty partner who enjoys talking to many girls. And being a little risque with you. But He has not given your his phone number. You have been going to this same bar for several months. Believe me if he was interested he would have already made sure you had his phone number and if he was super interested he may even have introduced you to his mother.He is probably well aware that you have a crush on him. And he is just amused. Not much more. Never chase a guy.If he is interested he will ask you out on a date. It is too eager and too desperate to ask him on a date. I guy likes a little challenge and you are making it far too obvious that you are smitten. He is making it even more obvious that he is not interested by talking to the other girl in front of you.Ease up and back off. If he is interested he will try harder. If not then accept that he is a lost cause.
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