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We still like each other but I don't know how to make a move

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2017)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I fell for a guy at a walking group a few years ago. There was a mutual attraction but people in the walking group did everything they could to make sure we did not date. At the time I thought these people were friends and were trying to protect me. It turns out some of the men lied as they wanted to date me and some of the women lied as they wanted to date him.

Over the years I have seen him but many times I have struggled to make eye contact or speak to him as though he isn't there as I never knew what was true. I was only temporarily not speaking to him at the time as I needed to gather my thoughts but then it got harder for me to make the first move and speak to him.

I know he still likes me and he would love to date me. Some of his friends who I know and are not part of the trouble making walking group have told me this and I know as he recently has tried to speak to me and said hello and asked how I was and I said hi but then he had to go to a birthday party.

I just feel so much heartache as I know we would make such a great couple but I don't even know how or what to say to him.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntYou know you will make a great couple but you simply cannot speak to him? Really? Honestly what is holding you back? Contact him and ask him out for a coffee, or if you are nervous a drink.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (12 March 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntAnd here you are, still relying on what "friends" are telling you. Sigh.

Make up your own mind about this situation. You are an adult so next time you bump into this man give him a big friendly smile, tell him it's nice to see him and say something like "fancy a coffee sometime to catch up?". That is nothing heavy but will give you an opportunity to sit down together and will give him an opening to ask you out.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (11 March 2017):

janniepeg agony auntI would try to find out how important this walking group is, for him. If I were to date him I would be ready to quit the walking group if a relationship is more rewarding. Then I would suggest to meet outside of the walking group.

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