A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so me and my girlfriend have been fighting for the past two weeks. She keeps telling me im clingy, and she needs space, and i only see her once a week, so i dont understand how im being clingy. another thing iv noticed is i pay for everything. i pay for her food, her furniture, her clothes, and her gas. and after all that she still complains to me how i never take care of her or anything of that sort. i called her this morning to ask if i left my shoes at her apartment, and she flips out and yells and say why are you calling me, you can wait. and then on top of that she tells me i dont respect her, i do everything for her, i tell her everyday i love her, i show her everyday i love her. yet as soon as i go home and i need something, she goes crazy on me. also the other day she told me her brother will be at her apartment a lot so i wont be able to come over as much just to chill because he's strict about her dating while in college. so i was okay with that, i honestly dont know what to do, i feel like im getting used now. when she doesnt get something she blames me and samething with her twin. her twin asked me the other day if i can take her shopping which blew my mind, why would i take her shopping.
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female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 avoid her for some time,and you'll see that you'll be the one saying that she's being clingy..
i know she might seem the one or whatever dramatic crap you see in movies,but read your own post,and you'll understand that there are 6 billion people on earth,i'm sure you can find a more decent girl..stop wasting your life on unworthy people
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 August 2011):
 She seems like she is using you and YOU are letting her. Don't you think you deserve better?
If so, dump her and find a decent girl.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Your gf loves you.....for your money.
You do not have a relationship, you have an business arrangment. So, what do you get in return for your gf maintenance payments?
If you fell into a situation of financial hardship, do you think she would stick around?
You do not seem to be a part of her life, but you are a part of her lifestyle. See the difference?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Her actions tell you that she doesn't care for you and she is guilt tripping you into paying her way. Talk to her and tell her how you feel and that you wont pay her way any longer. You want to take care of her, but she needs to take care of herself too, you're not her sugar daddy or father. She can come to you for love and support, but not for money!
I think she is completely taking you for granted though. I don't see that this is a good relationship, but it is up to you to judge whether or not you want to be with someone who treats you this way and walks all over you. Plenty of women would love and appreciate having a boyfriend who is as giving as you, and would never ask you for things, but feel happy that you are generous. A good woman will appreciate you giving her things, but never ask for it, and will return the favour by giving of herself in return so that you are equals.
This girl is selfish.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE: ya her twin wanted me to pay for it, i've been with my girlfriend for about 9 months now, we were getting pretty serious until lately, after she took her trip. i only buy her things because she says she has money issues, she cant pay for anything, and how her family never helps her, so as a favor when she asks me i pay for it, so later on in my relationship she doesn't question me more about why i didnt support her. she's 21, she wants everything her way and its getting to the point where i dont think i can handle it anymore. She introduced her ex bf to her brother within a week, and its been 9 months for me. she talks about how much she loves me yet when we are with ppl she acts like i dont exist, and then when i want to hang out with friends, she says no, she doesnt trust me when i havent dont anything, and when she says shes busy with her friends she expects me to be okay with it. like im getting down to crunch time, where i need to break up or make up with her.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Hi,Please, do yourself a favor and stay away from your girlfriend and find someone that will respect you and appreciate you. Is she using you? YES! Is she selfish and rude? YES!Why are you with someone like that? If you love her? Why? She's rude, criticized you, doesnt respect you, appreciate the things you do for her, besides the material things, you are sweet telling her how much you lobe her and in return what does she do? What I thought it was so unreal was the fact the the twin sister had the audacity to ask you take shopping? Who and what do they think you are? They both have mo shame. Sorry if I sound mean to you, but from what you told us here, the lack of communication, constant arguing this shouldn't even be a question. You are not happy..... Not only affecting you financially as well as mentally. Save your hard earned money to yourself. Find someone that will love you and respect you the way you really deserve. This relationship is toxic and I don't know why, but I also feel as if she's not being completely honest with you. I hope you do whats best for you and make the right decision. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (25 August 2011):
I don't get what the problem was with the twin? Why wouldn't you do the twin a favour and take her? Did she mean she wanted you to pay, or did she just need the ride?
Anyway, sounds like you're being used. I can't believe why you want to pay for everything for this girl? It isn't normal that a boyfriend pays for things for the gf, that's only when you're married. Until then she needs to pay her own way. So why are you?
Did you tell your girlfriend you don't understand what she means by clingy? It sounds like you and her view things differently. Maybe she doesn't love you, but you are trying to buy her love by buying her things? Try to take a good look at the relationship, from an objective point of view if you can.
I don't know you or what your role is in all of this, but it does sound like a weird relationship, more of a father and a teenage daughter than a loving couple. Is she very young? Try to find someone more mature perhaps, who doesn't need to hide her bf from her brother....?
Speaking of that hiding from the brother-issue: she's not taking your relationship seriously when she doesn't want to introduce you to her family. How long have you been together? If it is a fresh relationship I can understand her not introducing you to her family, but then again if it a fresh relationship what the heck are you doing buying her things?
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Yes, you are being used and disrespected. Don't listen to the excuses about brother in the appartment etc. All are reasons to stop you coming round, The sister wants to go shopping because she wants things for free and they are using you. You now need to quit this relationship as of now and don't waste any time here.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Not only are you NOT being "clingy"... but she is taking quite some advantage of you. Your description is not of a young guy who is enjoying time with a young lady friend... but is that of a naive guy who is being taken advantage of. How far away from her can you get without needing a passport? Go there.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): clingy doesn't necessarily mean the amount of times you see each other. it can be because of excessive texting/calling/emailing.Taking care of her may also not be financially. Maybe she would like to go on dates - the cinema, out for dinner, shopping. made to feel special......however, from your question, you sound like you're treating her like a princess, and she's throwing it back in your face. I don't know your girlfriend, but to me she seems very demanding. Like she wants to have her cake and eat it too - seems like you just can't win.have you talked to her about how she's making you feel? how SHE is treating YOU? I think you deserve to be treated better than that, and if it continues, maybe the relationship just isn't right?!In relation to her brother coming to stay... it's her appartment, and her life, so surely her brother doesn't have the right to stop you seeing each other...I would definitely sit down and talk to her about it all, and see if you can get some sort of resolution.Good luck x
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