A
male
age
51-59,
*amminJimmy
writes: met a woman online a month ago. She's in her early 40's and I'm 39. I was very attracted to her and when we met, I was even more attracted to her. We met to watch a game at a local bar and half way through, left and had an intimate dinner at a nearby restaurant for almost 2 hrs. Over the next 3 weeks we continued texting and emailing (due to our schedules)and calling one another, (flirting a lot) and finally we were able to go out again for a drink one evening for about an hour where we again had a good time, flirting and sitting real close the the whole time. She called me the next day and told me about a race she was doing and that she won and said she'd call me later. She never did and I didn't hear from her again. I texted and emailed her a couple of times and caught her on the phone once but she was at work during the day. Finally, I texted her a message that said "I like mysteries but don't want to live one. Please let me know what the situation is and feel free to let me know, I don't bite.." . She texted me back and hour later and said simply, "Understood. Thanks." I really am confused but want to be careful about what I should do. Any suggestions? I'm still new to the dating game (divorced a year). I really like her and want to continue but obviously have some concerns at this point.
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male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I wouldn't worry too much, after all how well do you know her personally?
She could very well be dealing with issues of her own that she does not yet feel comfortable enough to tell you about.
Give her some time to come around and don't put her under too much pressure. The rewards could be well worth it. Doc.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Agreed with Pon on this one. Before you jump the gun here...firstly, let's define 'dating'. Dating is conditional, by definition. I do not think that dating demands an exclusive relationship. It's a selection process (without sexual entanglements) into finding the one that you are most compatible with. It is about going out with a lot of different people until you find one with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. In this scenario, she's not for you. It's time to move on. Cut your losses and don't waste any more time on her. The only way to say this..'whatever her reasons were for not getting back to you, aren't good enough' If she was truly interested she would not have kept you hanging like this. She would've been very concerned that you would mistake her lack of contact as her lack of interest. But she's not doing this is she. You have not invested much into this except some 'heartfelt' feelings/expectations which you shouldn't have in just a few dates and some texts, and a few phone calls. Call it a day and learn from this. That is your choice and remember, dating is a selection process and you don't owe each other, anything. You know full well, you deserve to have an awesome relationship, so get out there and find it. Take care dear and always discern who is best for you.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (13 February 2007):
 It sounds like she is either too busy or just not that interested. In either case, I think it's time to write her off. If she doesn't have the common decency to tell you what's up, she isn't worth your time.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I would let her know that you had a good time with her and thought she did too. If she's not interested in keeping with touch could she have the courtesy to let you know and leave it at that. If she gets back to you great... if she doesn't then you need to take it she doesn't want to see you again but is just to embarrassed to say.
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): are you 100% sure she isnt married or in a relationship and her partner/husband was suspecting something??
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