A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so my boyfriend and i have been together for about 10 months now and i just dont feel happy around him. he has been acting totally different but i dont know if its just a phase or if its permanent.he does so many things that makes it seem that he just doesnt care. like ive seen some conversations online between him and girls all over the world and he is flirting with them and telling them he misses them but when i tried talking to him about it he said that he wasnt flirting and gets angry and difensive just like he does when hes with me and i catch him staring at other girls (not just checking them out full on staring) when he gets upset about anything he snaps on me or takes it out on me making sure i feel bad, and then like 5 mins after acts happy and expects me to, and then gets angry when i cant. he used to want to spend time with me but now he always says that he feels like ne never has time for anything else, we honestly hang out like once or twice a week, but because he thinks that giving me a ride to work is hanging out its different in his eyes, he spends all of his time on the computer and xbox that its myfault that he doesnt get time with his friends or to get his work done. sex, big problem there, we maybe have it once a week, and he keeps track of when we do because he doesnt want to do it to much, but when i want it and i try and be sexy he says no all the time, when he wasnts it and i dont he gets all bummy and upset and doesnt want to do anything, when we actually do he wants me to keep my shirt on and when i look at him he laughs totally killing the mood i love him and he says he loves me but i dont think i really believe him and i forgot to mention that he is now writing down what days we hang out to make sure we dont hang out to much or to little... i dont even know what to think of that like how are we suppose to live together. and it took him 10 months to tell me he loves me and he laughed when he said it what am i suppose to do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 What are you supposed to do?
Let me edit your post:
“I just don’t feel happy around him”
“He just doesn’t care”
“I’’ve seen conversations online between him and girls and he is flirting with them”
He gets angry and defensive”
“not checking then out full on staring”
“he snaps on me or takes it out on me making sure I feel bad”
“gets angry when I can’t” (act happy)
“Now he always says that he feels like he never has time for anything else”
“it’s my fault that he doesn’t’ get time with his friends or to get his work done”
“sex big problem there”
“we maybe have it once a week”
“he keeps track because he doesn’t want to do it too much”
“he says NO all the time”
“he wants me to keep my shirt on”
“he says he loves me but I don’t’ think I really believe him”
“make sure we don’t hang out too much or too little”
Personally honey I think you are right he doesn’t love you. But that’s because he can’t. He can’t love anyone…. He’s too much of a little boy…
Look at all the things you listed above… now do you have a list of what’s good? Does it balance out?
Let’s start with the fact that YOU are not happy with him…. That alone is enough to end it…
He’s flirting online and potentially emotionally cheating if nothing else… that would be a deal breaker for me… (the lies at least)
He stares at other women
He belittles you (makes you feel bad)
He laughs at you during sex? He makes you keep your shirt on? What’s with that?
He doesn’t want to have sex too much or too little? It’s a contest? Who makes these rules…. (FWIW we can go weeks and weeks with NO sexual activity an then have it 2 or 3 times in one day so that it averages out…. But if he withholds sex or has sex based on some preconceived timetable…. That’s odd…
It sounds like he’s got a bit of OCD going on as well as immaturity….
I’d consider ending the relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): I assume he is about your age. Women mature differently than men. WHile he is acting like a boy, I agree with Danielle that if he isn't initiating sex with you... then sadly he may be fooling around. I'm very sorry to say that, but xbox is just not THAT entertaining. The old addage is that their are other fish in the sea. I hope you find "The Guy"!
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A
female
reader, daniellexxxx  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 Hi hun.. Well first thing I think your boyfriend is taking you for granted that is a fact. He obviously doesn't see what he has. Sounds like he is playing away behind your back I know its not what you want to hear but that maybe why he doesn't want sex so much anymore..
I think you should get rid there are nice men out there who would treat and love you more than this boy does.. Or if you want to make it work then leave him for a while and see if he chases you, you will know then if he's worth it.. Good luck xx
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