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We kiss but don't make up

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 June 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2016)
A female Indonesia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have an ex. We broke up cause a simple reason six months ago. But until now, he still ask me to meet him. Not just a simple meeting, but we do more than it. He asked to kiss me. I don't know what he really felt about me. I still love him and I hope a lot. But can our kiss mean nothing to him? Why he still ask me to kissing with him but when I ask him "Can we back together?" He always say no.

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A female reader, Iknowhowitfeels United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2016):

Because guys do that if they know you still care they will use that to get to you it a way of controlling you. it's hard to understand but when he asks to meet you or for a kiss you should say no. did u do the 30 days no contact rule as I dont think you did u need to see his playing mind games and even know u may still love him he does not love you. I know thats hard to hear sweetie but you need to hear it. U need to think why ddid you break up in the first place and how will it be different. U need to get him off your mind do something for your self something to make you happy

Im here if you need someone to talk to

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (22 June 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntFor now it is a kiss, then it will be a touch and a feel and then more and more, he is playing with you to see how far he can go with you. He does not love you, he does not want to be with you, because if he did you would still be his girlfriend, he is just using you for his own fun, don't let him do this to you, stand up for yourself and next time he asks say no you only kiss people you are in a relationship with. The best thing you can do is avoid this boy, it will make it easier for you to get over him.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (21 June 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntHoneypie is right - cut contact permanently because he doesn't want to date you again, just get the perks, when he wants them.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 June 2016):

Honeypie agony auntHe wants to continue to USE you. He doesn't want you back, he doesn't want all the work that comes with dating you, but he wants the "benefits" of having a GF.

My advice? Whether you want him back or not - it's the same. You tell him: " I still really like you but you seem to have decided we have no future, so I have decided that I need to go No Contact so I can heal and move on from you." Either he steps up.. or you WILL get peace and quiet to heal.

I think he KNOWS that you are holding out hope, which makes it so easy for him to use you. Don't allow that. Have more respect for yourself, your standards and your boundaries. Or you will end up feeling even more used when he starts seeing someone else.

Holding out hope is a waste of time with this guy. CUT him off and move on. You deserve someone who WANTS to be with you. He isn't it.

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