| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: hi i cant seem to get *wet, and this is really frustrating even with fore play i find it hard. Is there anything to change this, or will i have to keep using lubricants? Me and my boyfriend have been using lubricants- but is this rude i feel guilty having to use them because he does turn me on plz help thanx xx
View related questions:
lubricant Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, d4u04  +, writes (14 March 2006):
 I completely agree with Bev. What is wrong with using lubricants? You shouldn't have to feel rude and I've known plenty of men in my time that find it a turn on to apply the lubricant, you could make it part of foreplay. But above all just have fun with it!
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (13 March 2006):
 You might want to delay having sex for longer, to give yourself a chance to "warm up" to the idea. One fact that gives young couples a lot of trouble is that men are ready for sex in seconds, and women might take an hour. There's nothing wrong with you or with him; that's just the way we're built.
Having said that, you can get straight into it on his "timetable", and you might find it very enjoyable after a little while. You also might not (this is common). So that's why I recommend that you hold off on full, penetrative sex until you practically feel...desperate for it. You might experiment with him having an orgasm through oral sex, and then saving the "real thing" for his second erection, when he can take more time and last longer.
Try different things too. Before you get into sex, read or watch erotica together. Use sex toys, or vibrators for variety, use alternate positions that allow you to masturbate when you have sex... anything you can think of is fine.
But even after all that, if you still find that you need lubricants, well, so what? There's no shame in that and there's no "sex judge" telling you what level of lubrication is Good Enough and what's not, so don't worry. ;-)
As long and you and your boyfriend are OK with it, it's fine.
...............................
A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (13 March 2006):
 Some girls produce more lubricant than others. It's not your boyfriend's fault, I'm sure he turns you on, you just don't get as "wet" as others might. Some girls get really "wet" and others barely produce lubrication at all. It's not your fault or his, it's just how your body is and you can't change that.
Are you saying that because he doesn't make you "wet" you think he doesn't turn you on? I hope not, because wetness isn't a sign of how turned on you get. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Good Luck!
...............................
|
