A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i have had threesomes with women and he performed with no problems and was not shy or anything. He has no problems with me having sex with other men. I want to have a threesome where i am the object of attention from two men and i want one of them to be my husband, but he said for me to do that with two men friends. When i bring up the subject of him being in a threesome with me and another man, he acts very uncomfortable. He has watched me with another man and did not participate in the sex. He said he enjoyed watching me and it turned him on but he didn't even undress. We did have sex after my friend had gone. We have sex often and he has no problems performing. He can get me off better than anybody and has no problems having intercourse for an hour or more. He can really control when he cums. He said he could not keep an erection if a man was present and watching. Could that really be the explanation for him not wanting to be in a threesome with another man present???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): alright im only 18 and im still confused on how to handle the situation. everyone else is right i'd feel really gay in a room naked with another guy. the other things thats bothering me is that i see my girlfriend and innocent i mean shes a freak with me, but it bothers me that she wants two dicks in her simultaneously. how am i supposed to look at her now? especially since i acted like i was alright with it and she sounded like wanted to do it. then when i told her i didnt like that she tried to act like she was playin so now i know she really wants it, anybody understand me?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): Your husband isn't alone when it comes to having a pee! If for instance I stop at a motorway service area I'll choose to pee in one of the traps rather than the urinals. Much more private, and I'm not left standing there for five minutes, absolutely bursting, waiting to 'break the seal'!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): thanks everyone...i feel really normal when around the woman during the threesome and seeing her orgasm from what my husband is doing is a real turn on, so i figured it would be the same for my husband. i showed this question to my husband just a few minutes ago and he laughed and said he won't even go into a public men's room if there are men in it. he won't be able to pee. i didn't know that and i thought he has told me everything. well, i am learning that he can feel vulnerable too. he has always been so macho, tough guy. in way, this is kinda sweet...you girls know what i mean. oh, i am the original poster, i guess you probably figured that out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I think the crux of the matter here is that a woman, whether she's turned on or not, is capable of having sex. All it takes is some KY jelly. A man, on the other hand, has to have an erection. If that erection disappears, there's nothing in it for him. In the presence of another man the erection is likely to subside so that's the end of the game for him, and if the other guy keeps his up he'll feel even less of a man.
What it all boils down to is performance anxiety. Will it stay up? Will he be able to match the other guy's proportions or his staying power? It's been said many times before, but the main organ involved in sex is the brain. If the brain is anxious, then it's a no-go area. Better for him that he lets two other guys deal with the problem, at least he won't then feel inadequate if it all goes tits-up.
Phil
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A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (25 January 2008):
 My first husband and I had a very open sexual relationship. It started out as fantasy and role playing (which is where I though it would stop) but then he started looking at swinger sites and would constantly bring up the possibility of meeting up with another couple. Long story short, after much persuasion he convinced me to give it a try. So, we tried it and I have to say, I loved it! (Mind you, I was really only married out of convenience and I was not truly in love with my husband or I would never have been able to do it). Anyway, after that experience he began trying to persuade me to do the MFM. Again, I wasn't really emotionally connected with him so I thought it was a good idea. By this time the couple we had been with had broken up (which normally happens in these kind of relationships) and the guy was more than willing to be the other guy (he was so sexy too, blond and buff!) So anyway, we did our thing and I have to admit, I loved the attention that I received from both of them and my husband really got off on it. We did it a couple more times after that and it was great. Then he went overseas and kept wanting me to have sex with someone and then tell him about it so he could get off. Well, I told him I wasn't comfortable doing it without him being present. I figured there was another motive so I lied and said I had sex with someone and made up a story to see his reaction, well, he was very turned on by this and even masterbated while I was talking about it. So the next day he told me he had been with another woman and when I flipped out on him he admitted to me that it was not another woman that he was with but infact a man. So, all that time the real reason he wanted to do all the MFM action was because he was bisexual, and I would say more gay than straight. So, if I were you, I'd be glad that your mate doesn't want to get physically involved in a MFM thing because he may just turn out to be gay. :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): That is probably part of it. Both my wife and I are somewhat turned on by the thought of a FMF, but I am totally turned off by a MFM and she is too if there is any interaction between the males. We are not turned off by the thought of different partners or men in series. Of course, we have never thought of doing these things, as they have too much possibility for relationship harm in our minds, but that is just our view.
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female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Yes. That is probably the reason . My husband said the same thing, and so have my rivious boyfirends. It's a guy thing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I think what the problem is with your husband is that most men do not feel comfortable being naked around other men. So if he got turned on by watching you have sex with another man, but he didn't take off his clothes, that's why. Straight men tend to stay away from anything that might make them feel gay. When you said that your husband told you that he could not stay hard with another man present, I am 99% sure that is why.
Straight men are groomed in our society to believe that the any gay type behavior, including being naked around other men, is not acceptable. In a sense, as a woman, I understand. I hang out with majority men, and we've actually had this conversation. Sure enough, the reason why they would NEVER have a threesome with another man is because they wouldn't even want their private parts exposed in the same room. It would make them feel gay.
Nonetheless, if he doesn't want to....then let it be. It seems like you have plenty of sexual freedom.
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (25 January 2008):
 If you are having sex with others outside your marriage and working it out without the emtional junk, good for you. My boyfriend lets me have sex with other women, and I sometimes have involved him in threesomes. We never done mfm, but i want to sometime too. He knows it and hes shy about it like your guy is. i guess a lot of guys can get this way. but with your sutuation, this insistence on him being part of your threesome, should be pretty minor. Be happy hes even lettign you have sex with other guys anyway...if you can have a threesome with two other guys, just be happy with that. you sound like you have a fun thing going there...can I join?...lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I think it most certainly is. I've never taken part in a threesome with another man, the thought of it doesn't appeal at all and I'd feel the same as your husband.
However, being the meat in a two-girl sandwich does have a certain amount of appeal and I'd be far more inclined in that direction.
Phil
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