A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend are getting back from break up and now he's passive aggressive towards me. I know he still loves me. We've been in serious relationship and he's ready for commitment before but now things changed. He loss his patience, passion, and doesn't try to be the best for me anymore.He's dealing with many personal problems in his life, he's trying to pursue carreer, his loneliness because lack of friends ( he used to have many friends but they are far apart now), he's not so close with his family and we often argue about things ( which is my mistake and I'm trying to fix this).I know he's stressed out and I want to help him but I just don't know how. He's very insecure and trying to changed his life. He thinks that I don't really love him, that he's not good enough for me, and that we are too different and tired of arguments. He's become more distant now as he never call me and initiate to ask me out. But still he seems afraid to lose me, he's still want to know where am I and who I'm with. But there's no other than that from texting. His friends and family don't know about our breakup and everyone thinks we are fine. He's not inviting me to some occasion and he told them that I'm busy. He doesn't tell them about our breakup and problem. He even still hang our and my picture in his bedroom, planning to go abroad with me and his friends without telling me( his friend told me about this), told his friend that we had a break up but he took me back because he couldn't bear seeing me like that.However, there's a female friend told me that she heard my friends said that they saw my bf chat with prostitutes. I'm so depressed and can't believe it. Well, she had a bad reputation about her personality, she used to make my couple friends break up. Then I ask my friends who she told me she heard from, one of them is my cousin, and I ask him whether he knows about my bf texting with who. He said he swear he'doesn't know anything and its impossible to look at others phone and read their text. I don't know which one is being honest and I'm so depressed. In one hand, my bf is passive aggressive towards me, if I asked him to meet, he seems like lazy to meet me and avoiding me, but if I ignore him, he asked me am I busy? Can I live without him?I don't know he become passive aggresive because of being insecure and trying to control me or he's really texting with the prostitutes. Fyi, he just start his own business and he told me about that but he lied to his family because they're not supportive ( which shows that he's still apreciate me to let me know). He's a wonderful man, but now he's just unsure and tired of our relationship and his life.What can I do to mend our relationship back (how can my parents help? Maybe talk to him?) I'm just so tired of passive aggresive he did to me and I wish there way to stop this behavior.pleasee help me.. Advice please..
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 November 2014):
 "Sounds" to me, like you're prepared to give him "passes" for most any stupid and/or inappropriate behaviour.
Decide if you want to continue being his shill for the rest of a long "relationship".... OR, would you prefer to salvage your self-respect and say to him, "You know, Hunchy-Bunchy, I don't intend to abide your stupid behavious any more.... so, please make up your mind to either continue with that behaviour, OR be a decent boyfriend." HE will answer the only "question" that you really have.....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2014):
If your willing to put the time and effort in then I believe you can make this relationship work. But only if your boyfriend deals with he's personal issues first. Ask your boyfriend if he still has feelings for you and to be honest if he still wants to be with you or not. If he does then I think you need to next help him deal with he's personal issues, ask him whats bothering him and show that you care and willing to help an listen to him. Tell him that if he still wants to be with you, then your going to arrange for him to see a canceller to help him. I think that's the best you can do really. If that doesn't change him, then may be you will just have to leave him or he will make ur life a misery too.
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