A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help...Me and my ex have been split up for about 5months now,we have a baby together so we still have to stay in contact, we get on for about 3wks then he says something that gets to me, i will say horrable things to him, he always says im always starting and i get to him, then we start agueing all over again, our freindship is very on and off one minute we are friends then the next thing is we hate each other for one day.Then we make up again just has friends.After a fight he tells me he can't take nomore and he wants me out off his life, and he wants me to leave him alone, beacause i'm stressing him out, and that i need to get on with my life, i say ok then i wont call you anymore, then if he doesn't hear from me for a few days he will contact me. Snice the split we haven't had a break from each other, i asked him for time out, he agreed then he calls in a few days.I know we i fight with him, its beacuse i still love him, but why does he allow me to get to him?We both said we are moving on, and going forward, so why do we have this love hate relationship.Please help any tips please, beacause we hate arguing with each other, and we just want to get on for our babys sake.We had a big fight on Tuesday, but now we are friends again.
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female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (28 August 2007):
 My guess is that you have a love-hate thing because it is just that -- you both love each other but you don't know how to be around each other without pushing buttons. I don't know what you fight about specifically so it's hard to diagnose completely, but saying irrational things because you're pissed off is a sure way to start an unnecessary argument. Some people can't resist the urge to poke at a hornet's nest. You guys need to learn how to argue over things that matter, and then no cheap shots. Fight fairly. No name calling. No throwing up old business in each other's faces. No dredging up old hot-buttons. It takes practice to break this habit but it shows great maturity if you can learn to hold your tongue. Who knows, it might even save the relationship completely. Good luck.
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