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female
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*ightAngel
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been in an on/off relationship for 2 1/2 years or so, he came back to me recently after realizing he made a mistake and told me he was ready to be the boyfriend I needed him to be. It was great for 4 days..after that he treated me horribly, ignored me, and went out with this other girl for 10 days *Supposedly nothing happened between them* He came back once again after it not working out with the other girl, and we ended up getting back together and had sex that night. Now today I really regret it, because I know I don't trust him at all, and I feel really 'whore-ish' for doing it. I asked him if he could handle not having sex for a while until I feel ready again to do so, and it wasn't a problem. Now today he's not sure, and doesn't understand why I need the time even though I explained to him how hurt I've been the past week. I feel like I've just made the biggest mistake, and I don't even know how to tell him, Please agony aunts, advice. Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, goodolecntryboy  +, writes (7 July 2009):
It may have not been the smartest thing but being human gets to you from time to time. take it with a grain of salt. now you know he isnt the one and will never be. And as for telling him, just tell him that you have had some time to think about it and it just wont work. remind him of what happend when he left with that other girl and that you thought that you could get past it but you cant.
A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (7 July 2009):
 You have to follow your heart/gut. We all make mistakes sometimes, but the best thing is to learn from the mistakes we make. If you don't want to have sex again for a while, then be clear with YOURSELF FIRST! Know for yourself WHY you are choosing not to and stick by it! This way, if (and when) he tries to pressure you into doing it again, you'll be ready to defend your decision without giving it a second thought.
If he's not willing to wait for you, then let him go. He's not worth your time. There is a young man out there waiting to meet you and treat you like a queen - but you'll never meet him if you're tied up with a guy who isn't treating you right.
Trust in a relationship is paramount - if you are finding that you are not trusting him, try to figure out all the reasons why and share that with him. To his credit, there may be some things that he does (or doesn't do) that causes you not to trust him and with this information he'll be able to change his behaviors. However, if the behaviors don't change, you know what you have to do.
Hope this helps.
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