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We had a fling and now everyone knows about it and is being nasty! What should I do?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

i had a fling with a guy i knew through work, it was supposed to be descrete, now i find he has told people things we did and its got back to some relatives and people at work who are being unpleasant, i said its lies but they're being really nasty saying no smoke without fire, i have never got on with the relatives, it seems that i cant leave this behind.

its making me very down.

help !

View related questions: at work

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (19 June 2007):

stina agony auntHi Anonymous,

Like Eyes said, the best thing to do would be to ignore the jerks. Of course it's going to be hard and it's only natural for negative comments to bring you down, but honestly you're above all of this. You know, this is not even anyone else's business. I'm sure they've all done things that they regret, as well. The fact that they even feel they should be commenting on your sex life says a lot about them. Like we said, ignore their comments. You'll walk out the bigger person in the end.

Take care.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (19 June 2007):

kenny agony auntUnfortunately office relationships are good when things are sweet, but when things go sour it can be arkward for you and and your co-workers. You have also got to see this guy everyday too which can't be easy for you.

This guy is obviously very immature and is someone you are better off without. So forget it ever happened and get on with you job, ignor the comments, in a few weeks when things have blown over they will be bitching about something or someone else. But think twice next time about doing something with someone from work.

Good luck x

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A female reader, darksecretangel United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2007):

darksecretangel agony auntHey

i agree with what eyes wide open has said. Just tell them to mind their own business and for them to be going on about you and your life just shows how pitiful their own lives are. Ignore the comments they are just trying to force you to react. Just carry on with your life and sooner or later they will get tired of going on at you.

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A male reader, NuVu United States +, writes (19 June 2007):

There is nothing you really can do. If people want to judge you or talk bad about you, they will do it. The more you try to convice them otherwise the more you play into their hand. Just let it go. Let them talk. Just smile and go about your business as if it didn't matter. Living well and being happy is often the best revenge.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (19 June 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntIgnore the unpleasantness and those mean people. If they don't get any kind of reaction from you they will quit with this nonsense sooner or later. Hold your head high and don't let them bring you down.

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A male reader, bytex64 United States +, writes (19 June 2007):

bytex64 agony aunt"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Ignore them. I know you care about what your friends and relatives think, but what they're thinking now isn't helpful in the least. The best thing you can do is brush off the jeers and insults and be proud of who you are (*especially* if who you are is distasteful in the eyes of your peers). Do you really need their approval to feel good about yourself? No, you don't.

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