New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

We get on great, but hes never had a relationship so told me to bare with him, should I continue to wait around ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 September 2006) 1 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I met a guy on a night out, we live quite far apart from eachother but he was texting and ringing me all the time saying lovely things, he seemed like the perfect guy and was really keen. we met up twice in one weekend and had a great time both days. Now he has completely changed, he now treats me as a friend and never calls. I tried to end it, saying it was obvious his feelings had changed but he said he still feels the same as day one, but has never had a serious relationship before and i need to bear with him. I'm trying my best but his constant platonic messages are weighing on my mind and making me miserable as i really like him. i bought it up with him again and he said the reason for the change was that he doesn't want to let me down as he can't be around much, however i haven't asked anything of him yet he seems to think i'm asking him to change his life for me, i've told him this and he says it's a good thing and we can see how it goes. but now i know how lovley he can be i'm still feeling really down about the whole thing. i really like him and don't want to give up but i'm tired of being miserable. i'm too worried to ask him if he wants to meet up again in case he thinks i'm being too demanding, so i'm waiting for him to make a move. am i wasting my time here?

View related questions: text

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006):

Hate to ask: but did you have sex with him on that weekend where you met twice? If so, that MIGHT be why he has backed off - he had a "fling" and that's it.

HOWEVER, I don't want to be unfair, so if you did not have sex, it does not strike me that there is much potential for a relationship here. Consider:

He never calls

Told you he's never had a serious relationship before and you "need to bear with him."

He tells you he can't be around much, and therefore doesn't want to let you down

He seems thinks you want him to change his life for you

He said "see how it goes," yet he doesn't call you and doesn't make arrangements to meet.

It seems pretty clear from this side of the computer that continuing to take an interest in him and hoping for something is a losing proposition. He probably is a very nice man, but obviously, for whatever reason, he either won't or can't try out a friendship with you.

Let it go and move on.

<-- Rate this answer

Add your answer to the question "We get on great, but hes never had a relationship so told me to bare with him, should I continue to wait around ?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.031258600000001!