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We fight and make up... almost every day!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 November 2005) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2008)
A female , *ajo writes:

Hi, I am in a relationship with this guy for around one year now. We liked each other from the beginning. We share a lot in common and we talk about our lives and problems always with each other. We have this beautiful relationship, but in the past few months we start having a lot of fights. Sometimes we say stuff we don't really mean to each other, but every time we end up at same day apologizing to one another. We always show and say to one another love words and nice things, but these fights always occur.

I can say almost now, no day passes without them and this messes up all the beautiful things we share. I need help cause I'm worried of losing him due to fights.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008):

It sounds to me that you should find someone that you get along with better.Fighting everyday ,regardless of making up, puts a terrible strain on a realtionship and is a good indicator that you aren't right for each other.There's a lot of people you can date, fight with everyday and make up, but that's not the type of person you want to stay in a long term relationship with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007):

i have the same problem with my BF and we both love each other so much. we went for a holiday yesterday to make up for all the fights that we've been through. and even during the holiday itself, we fight!. its sad.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

a healthy relationship requires some arguments. jus not violence..

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A female reader, Lajo +, writes (14 February 2006):

Lajo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hello every one,

i have recieved alot of replies to my question and all of them were supporting and really helpful,me and my boy friend we love each other too much and both of us dont want to fight,after talking with each other and discussing the issue and what really causes these fights,we decided to work them out,we are happy now,for about 2 months now we didnt fight,we are solving everything by talking with an open mind and heart.

i would like to say thank you to every one who sent me a reply,wish you all good luck and happiness.

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A female reader, amylou +, writes (14 February 2006):

me and my boyfriend went through the same phase for about 1 or 2months, it was mainly me getting upset and him shouting at me. i hated it, i didn't even know what was wrong most of the time. now we haven't had a fight for about 5months, which is good. he had a pop at me on sunday, because he said whenever his friends come round i start picking at him, like i want to whind him up. so on monday we were with his friends again and i was like right i wont talk and i will just be good. he said i was very good when i got home, i was like thanx dad! haha

hope it gets better for you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005):

I remember when my relationship with my girl reached around the one year mark... wasnt preety, fights almost every time we saw each other (an made up the same day or if not early the next) its just a phase in the relationship where both of you will fight with each other over even tricial things.... Me and my GF after that stage, we talked about it, like whats upsetting both of us etc, and now we rarly fight at all (cant remember last time we have)

Try talking about it, but eventually if the relationship is strong it will pass, and you'll have a stronger relationship becuse of it.

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A female reader, romancingthesoul +, writes (3 November 2005):

In most long term relationships, it gets to this point. What is happening here is that you have grown comfortable enough in the relationship to say what's on your mind, but the thing is the fighting has to take a different approach. Remember, the more fuel you add to the fire, the hotter it gets. Try this. The next time a fight erupts, do not get mad but answer in a calm manner. You would be so surprised at the reaction you will get. You will find that in nine times out of then, your partner will respond in the same easygoing tone. It may take a few minutes for it to happen, but it will happen.

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A male reader, pall4all +, writes (2 November 2005):

Its said that love starts from fights or makes to fight, just think is it love there any more between you, if yes... go and give him hug, kiss him, fell him, make him fell you care, fell that he cares your emotions? when you observe, then make both of you a bound to tolarate and compromises for little lacks, bear in your minds that you are for each other but for a little time on the planet that time should not be wasted in quarrals at all , God bless you, I wish you GOOd luck

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A female reader, Topps +, writes (2 November 2005):

I think this happens to alot of couples. I am sure you are not arguing about what you really need to be talking about either. Have some time and think to yourself 'what is upsetting you' ask him to do the same.

Tomorrow when you wake up, say to yourself "I will not argue with him today" and no matter what happens, Dont Bite! unless he tells you he's slept with your mum or something;0)

Soemtime you just need to break the cycle. Dont answer back, let it go, stop being proud. Hopefully he will follow you lead and stay calm. then maybe one day you can talk about stuff and not shout. Worked for me!

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