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We don't want his parents to look after his new puppy! How do we avoid a rift?

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Question - (29 August 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Need advice. So my boyfriend just got a very cute little puppy, only 8 or 9 wks old, he has enrolled him in puppy kindergarten and. is quite committed to training. Now MY parents have a very wild undisciplined and much larger dog who they overindulge. My boyfriend doesnt mind leaving his puppy with them for short periods but for longer absences he is afraid the atmosphere of overindulge nce and the influence of the wild pet will undo the progress in training he has made so far (which is quite a bit for a young pup,) Now we are actually going on a vacation , so my boyfriend made the decision to put him in a puppy friendly pet hotel. When my parents found out they were pretty hurt and upset puppy didnt stay with them, but what can I say? They are certainly loving but definitely can spoil the heck out of a dog. THIS feels like the first of many adult couple decisions that my parents may not like, but I dont want to hurt their feelings. They are hoping in the future the puppy will stay with them for long term vacays but if we opt against it will it create

a rift? I have a feeling when kids come along these issues will resurface 10 fold. Can anyone offer any reassuring advice?

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A female reader, Behavioural Analysis United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2014):

Behavioural Analysis agony auntBy the way, I meant one or two days in a row without spending several hours available to your puppy during that time, like not leaving a puppy alone for more than 2 hours for the first few months, even if you work full time - it's not fair to the puppy's development or emotional state. Besides, putting it in doggy day care isn't great either until it's had it's 2nd vaccinations against parvo, a lethal virus that unvaccinated puppies and dogs - in and out of day care - can contract.

How much did your boyfriend think through before getting the puppy?

Does he live alone?

Is there someone in the house at all times (until the puppy has been there for a week or so)?

If he's had him a week, does he come home every 2 hours to be with the puppy?

Has the puppy had both vaccinations? It's wrong if he has because he shouldn't get it until 10 - 12 weeks old and shouldn't go for any walks until then.

Does he get walked? If yes, does your boyfriend know his puppy should only go for walks that are roughly 5 minutes per month of it's age?

Does your boyfriend know the puppy shouldn't be allowed to jump yet because it's joints aren't strong enough yet and could cause serious damage to them in the not-so-distant future?

I don't wish to be harsh, but we are talking about a life here and, if your boyfriend hasn't got two or more "puppy parenting" books, I'd strongly advise it because it appears to be a selfish decision to get a puppy on what seems to be a whim - due to the fact that he assumed it would be okay for the puppy to be put in a pet hotel at a very young and vulnerable age. Pet hotels make money - they will usually take any puppy old enough to be away from it's mother. Your boyfriend (and you?) are putting this poor puppy at risk - regardless of how cute it is and how much you both love it.

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A female reader, Behavioural Analysis United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2014):

Behavioural Analysis agony auntIf I'm honest, as someone who is getting a puppy soon and has done several months of research beforehand, the puppy should be with you two until it's older. It's so young that it shouldn't be moving around much, especially for more than a day. I'm sorry, but I think it was irresponsible for your boyfriend to get a puppy when he's going on vacation soon after. It's not fair to the puppy. Also, the puppy has a basic training and adjustment window from 8 - 16 weeks of age, should you be away for more than a day or two during that period, your puppy can experience discomfort and even be scared because he hasn't established who his family members are yet and your boyfriend is shipping him off to a pet hotel.

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