A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hey, My boyfriend and I have been together since last November but we have been on and of for about 7 months of that! The troubles started when he dumped me afer boxing day, his reason was that he was scared as it was getting serious quite quick. We talked and got back together a few days after. We were planning on going to a rave new years eve but a few hours before leaving he said I couldn't come with because he was taking someone else instead.I decided to finish things. But, soon after we were back together. This has continued, he lets me down at the last minute, puts raves and his mates before me everytime. At the moment we are together, but he hasn't told his friends because they dislike me. That has left us not spending alot of time together. The other day he came round and we decided to go to the cinema but when it got time to go he said he was too tired. So we ended up not going. I wasn't too fussed but when his friends called asking for a lift to go pick up some drugs he was straight of the door. And his promise of him being a few hours turned into 6. When we are together everything is great. We have a laugh, great conversations, can spend hours just cuddled up, have great sex. No one thinks I should be with him. I agree in a way because alot of the time I'm let down. I want to stand up for myself a bit more. I do love him alot. But I've got to that point of thinking I have to decide what to do. I don't want him to stop seeing his mates, I don't want to tell him what he can and can't do. I just want this relationship to not be one sided. And i don't know what to do. any ideas? thankyou.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  + ♥, writes (23 July 2008):
 Hi hon, I think that he's just not going to change for you. He's put his mates ahead of you time and time again; he doesn't even want them to know he's seeing you again?
I think he's using you and that you deserve more and to be treated better than this.
Maybe you should just stop having sex with him for the time being and see if he cares enough about you to be your friend. You'll have your answer soon enough.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, deejayz +, writes (23 July 2008):
your message makes me so sad, girl. he is not treating you right, and yet you are justifying his behaviour for some unknown reason. you deserve SO much better than this... you think that you and him have a "special connection", while he probably thinks that you're someone totally "convenient" to hang around with when there's nobody else around. you need to realise that, just because you're a caring, empathetic, lovely person, this doesn't mean that you "know him" at a special level, or that your "connection" with him is more profound. don't waste your gifts on this guy, he will only abuse them. you can't "save" him - and believe me, just because you see how "special" he is, it doesn't mean that he wants you in his life as his "special" love... he will abuse your kindness, your gentleness, until he drives you mad, and you begin to doubt yourself and your own self worth... you are worth so much more than this... please don't settle for it... I promise you, there is someone just around the corner who will appreciate you for who you are, and you will experience a love you never imagined possible. you HAVE to hold out for this. what you've got now is nothing more than a completely dysfunctional relationship with a narcissistic idiot. your life is worth a million times more than this... hold out for the real thing... it's just around the corner!
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