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We can't stop arguing constantly over the lack of attention he gives me... is there any hope for us??

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Question - (10 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *ebeka writes:

I am a 22 year old mom to a one-year-old. My boyfriend (not my sons father) and i recently moved closer to my family accross the country. so we have a blended family so to say now. My bf has an eight year old daughter too.

To the piont now, We argue constantly. I will admit that part of the time i am the instigater. We argue about everything from money to helping around the house. I feel like he doesnt appriciate anything i do.(i clean, cook, stay home with both kids all day long.) When my bf is home he is on the computer constantly playing stupid games! It pisses me off b/c he hardly even looks at me when he is home. He is too into the computer to help with the kids or me around the house. He is cranky too when hes on the computer. Im fed up! I cant handle this anymore. Somthing has to change or im leaving him, but i cant bare to leave his little girl. I love her like shes my own. She doesnt deserve the short end of the stick(she has been getting it her entire life!)

MY question is, Is there any hope in your opinion? I feel like im living with a roommate not the man im suposed to be in love with. How do i get my bf to pay more attention to me and make me feel like im loved again. And how can we stop arguing about everything?

View related questions: money, roommate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010):

Moving is one of the MOST stressful life events, right up there with death and taxes...so you are beating each other up instead of being supportive of the changes you are going through.

You have proably given up a lot of people that used to be a source of support, it even sucks to have to find a new hair dresser! You need to rely on him less to give you the attention you need to make up for some of the people and things you have given up to make the move. Instead put your focus on you, meeting new people, getting involved in your child's new friends and activities and build a life for yourself, in short take care of yourself. When you are happier, less bitter and angry, your husband will come around...and be interested in what you have been doing with your day.

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A female reader, ARELI United States +, writes (10 July 2010):

ARELI agony aunthi

ok well lots of things u could do before leaving him...ok some are this ...whene he comes hom ull get shower and change alittle make up before he comes homm so hell see the girl he fell in love with whene he comes hom ok!!mmm 2nd thing u coul do is tell ur mother in law or ur mother sister to babysit without him knoying make him a dinner where sexy cloths like a lady and at night play with him u know like ....u did before whene u met him ... then try the next day explaing to him talk without the kidz tell him how much he means to u and how much hes hurting u....guys tend to forget about their women marrige becomes to them a ruteing,,,,try spiceing it up and if that all dont work huney his thinking of someone else and he dont diserve ur love nor ur time!!! leave him and i am sorry for that beatiful girl but he wanted it that way....think about it ok/......

take care

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A female reader, girlyn United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2010):

Heyy.. a lot of women go through this, i have myself been through this. Dont give up hope, he likes you which is why he got with you in the first place, maybe you should try less nagging, i know its hard when they dont listen but it will make him stop and think, hmm she isnt saying anythin? which will make him wonder and make the effort, also try dressing up nicely, suprising him.

Ask somebody to look after the kids and make your home romantic, dimmed lights, candles etc.. put something sexy on and he will surely pay you attention!

Try not to try to hard! Its the best way, and if he still isnt interested, then he isnt worth it. Why is he on the computer so much? Maybe you should do some things that bug him so you can make your point? Anyways if it doesnt work out im sure you can come up with some arrangments to still keep in contact and visit his daughter?

Hope this helps X

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