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We can never see each other because my boyfriend is always in trouble!

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, *zzygurl writes:

I just wanna know what's the point of being in a relationship if we can't see each other. Me and my boyfriend been going out for 9 months and he's 16 and I'm 17. He's always on punishment and getting his phone taken, he lives with his dad and he's really strict, my boyfriend gets his phone taken for the dumbest things like waking up late for school and not taking the dog out for a walk. We leave far away from each other and we have to make plans to see each other but without his phone we can't do that. I'm really sick of it, I love him to death but I'm tired of it. We haven't seen each other in almost 3 months because of it, when we wanna see each other he gets his phone taken, like one time he got his phone taken because he was cooking for his dad and the food got burnt. My prom is in 2 weeks And i don't think he's gonna Be there Because of this :( What do you think I should do? Do you think it's worth it?

Thanks

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2013):

R1 agony auntThey just sound like excuses not to see you, sorry.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwell since you have no way of getting in touch with him you have to wait till he contacts you... and to be honest I'm not sure why after 3 months of not seeing him you call him anything other than a friend.

I'm not even seeing why you have to "break up" since you are not even together...

when was the last time you talked to him?

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A female reader, izzygurl United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

izzygurl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

izzygurl agony auntYou guys are all right, he texted me from his friend's phone at school only on even days because they don't have the same class on odd days, and no they don't have landlines at home, i think he's irresponsible too, if he wanted to see me he would do what ever it takes. we broke up before but we got back together because he said he can't live without me. I love him and I know it's gonna hurt leaving him plus I don't wanna break his heart, how should I tell him the relationship isn't working.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntand the ONLY way to contact each other is by HIS PHONE?

what there are no landlines in his house? he sees no friends at school with phones? he has no access to a public phone?

where the is a will there is a way. your boyfriend either does not have the will or he can't figure it out. much like he can't figure out that getting up on time is a mature thing to do, doing your chores is the mature thing to do.

you say you live far away from each other... well as teens without a driver's license still under the beck and call and total control of the parent that owns him (and sadly till he is 18 his father has complete rule over him in his home) I'm sensing this relationship is pretty much dead in the water.

having not seen him in over three months... how do you even know he's still your boyfriend?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (13 April 2013):

janniepeg agony auntYou haven't seen him in three months, but you got information that he woke up late, didn't walk the dog, and burnt his food. Did you use email, or skype? He is lazy and irresponsible but being totally grounded at home seems to be a severe punishment. There may be some other things he's not telling you. If he really wants to go to the prom with you, snail mail only takes a day or two. That's how people kept in touch in your grandparents' days. So I think he's trying to make up excuses, like wanting to break up the easy way because his story doesn't add up much. Also if he's that irresponsible at home he won't make a good boyfriend and husband either. His dad is seeing the real him while you only see the romantic version of him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2013):

"my boyfriend gets his phone taken for the dumbest things like waking up late for school and not taking the dog out for a walk."

Yeah dumb on the part of your boyfriend OP, your boyfriend is an idiot. How hard is it to walk the dog? How hard is it to get up in time? He knows the punishment so he should ensure he follows the rules.

You can't do anything OP, your boyfriend is irresponsible and keeps having his phone taken off him and who knows maybe sometimes he only says that is what has happened and is only using it as an excuse and is just not bothered.

OP it's simple, if your family were as strict and you needed your phone to see your boyfriend, you'd be extra careful so as not to have it taken off you, wouldn't you? Well your guy would rather get up late, rather sit on his arse and not walk the dog and he'd rather let the food burn when he should be keeping an eye on it, he'd rather do all this lazy irresponsible shit than make sure he has a way of keeping in contact with you.

Tell me, do his actions say that he thinks you're worth it? because shit OP, if I was in his situation I'd be on my best behaviour to make sure I could keep seeing you. If I had my phone taken off me I'd borrow a friends phone just to talk to you, I do whatever I could to see you, what does he do? Nothing, he hasn't seen you in 3 months because of it either.

You can't rely on him at all, I mean holy shit OP, 3 damn months. That's 1/3 of your entire time together and he hasn't been there for you and one of the most important events in your life and you don't know if he's even going to show? That's not what I would call a good relationship, that to me is not worth it.

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