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We broke up. So why can't I just "unfriend" him in my head?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 August 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 August 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years because we couldn't get over problems of fighting about mainly money (he didn't seem to want to put in an effort to make any) and he had a problem with drinking.

He was not abusive and is actually kind and caring but I couldn't face going through the same problems all the time.

Anyway, now we're broken up (a month already) I still feel as if I'm waiting for him to call me and I check my phone, it's driving me mad. I deleted his number so I don't call. Why can't I just "unfriend" him in my head and stop thinking about him?

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A female reader, MonksDaBomb United States +, writes (10 August 2012):

MonksDaBomb agony auntYou were with him for 3 years. That's a long time, so it's going to take a long time to get over him. Just try to get back to your normal routine and you'll be feeling better in no time.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntbecause you are still grieving your loss... it takes time..

my gf and i give ourselves 6 weeks of full out mourning (ice cream in bed, crying non-stop, obsessing about him) before we have to "pull up our panties" and deal.

stop being so hard on yourself... it will pass with time.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (9 August 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntIts normal to take more than a month to heal but every time you pine for him, you have to remind yourself of the reason you broke up in the first place. Give it some more time, you will soon get over him. Remember, he was not good for you and you did the right thing by breaking up.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntBecause after 3 years together it takes more then a month to "unfriend" him in your head.

It's OK and perfectly normal. We can't just shut our emotions of at the flick of a switch. Would be nice if we could, but most people can't.

Chin up, it will get better.

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