A
female
age
36-40,
*INAT
writes:I can't move on with my life. I break up with my ex in 2011 since then I never been able to move, I'm not interested in any men I attended counseling sessions but nothing helped. The fact is I feel lonely and need someone in my life but my heart belongs to my ex where it will never be welcomed. Should I meet my ex and discuss the issue or just wait for Salvation to knock behind my door?
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broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014): This worked for me after being in a similar situation:
http://www.wikihow.com/Break-Your-Addiction-to-a-Person
Try it please, it just might work.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014): I had a friend in a similar situation. Her obsession with her ex dominated her life and ended up damaging her friendships. It's not the end of the world. For your own sake forget about him and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014): It's hard moving forward; because you are not strong enough to accept his rejection.
Telling you he does not want you, makes you want him more. It isn't love that compels you. It is your damaged ego telling you "how dare he reject me! Am I not good enough?"
"I am smart, I am beautiful, how can he not want me?!!"
He just does not love you. You will have to accept that.
He does not hold the key to your happiness. YOU DO!!!
Your ego has completely taken control of your emotions. You know in your heart, it isn't true that you are not good enough. You may be too good for him. Fate and your destiny tore you away from his grip, kicking and screaming. You have thrown the flow of your journey through life completely off-course. That's why you're so miserable. You are not where you're supposed to be. You should have let go a long time ago.
Open your eyes.
You've given him so much power and control over your self-esteem; it has cost you three years of agony, my dear child. If he does not love you, that has nothing to do with your ego, or if you are good enough.
You cannot force someone to have feelings for you that they don't have.
You have allowed your mind to convince you that you just can't take that from him. It is an "obsession" you will have to fight with everything you've got. He is an addiction. You've allowed yourself to be his slave.
What's funny is, the door is wide open. There are no chains.
This is something therapy, time, and your determination will have to battle together like an army. Continue your therapy. You are not well, if you can't give-up on someone who doesn't want you. I don't believe you actually stuck to your therapy; because you stubbornly insist on having what you are denied. It is no longer about love anymore, my dear. That is your ego refusing to allow you to be free of his rejection. You are insulted to your very core.
Young lady, let no one know they have hurt you enough to keep you down. Brush off the bitterness to take the loss.
Rejection is an offense to your pride. In order to get over it, you have to get away from it. Think in terms of what's next and what's better from you. Then you will have the power to break free of his invisible chains.
You can do it.
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