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We broke up, but got back together as I couldnt bare to see her hurt, thing is I want to break up again, but I really dont want to hurt her! Please help!!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 April 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2007)
A male , *ickk writes:

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years now, and are now in our 2nd year of college. I felt like things werent working back around Christmas, and we had a confrontation and broke up, but it was the first time we were ever apart and got back together a couple weeks later. I know truthfully that half the reason I got back with her was out of guilt, because she'd been hurt before and I couldnt stand to hurt her again. But now I'm back in the same situation...things just arent working, and I know I'd be happier to be single (I've never experienced single college life, and really want to).

I'm really worried about hurting her. She's recently been seeing a psychologist because she has anxiety problems and probably mild depression, and I dont want to amplify her problems. She doesnt have many friends here, and I feel the reason is that she sees me as a replacement. The thought of her alone and heartbroken in her apartment kills me, but I know its only a matter of time for our relationship. Any advice on the best way to break it to her gently? I really care for her, we've been best friends for the last 3 years. I would hope that after time we could be friends again, but just friends. So whats the best thing I could do?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, christmas, got back together, heartbroken

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi,

My only advise here is to be honest your hurting her more being with her, she deserves the respect of a good honest man...

I know she may have loads of problems that doesn't mean you can't be there for her to support her when she needs it, but not telling her the truth and prolonging it will only make it harder for you and her...

There really is no easy way, she will be upset you know this, but be honest how you feel it a sensitive manner...

Make sure you are there as a good friend as you have stated but make it clear to her that this is all it is...

Who knows after you have finished all your studies you may feel you miss her more than you imagined...

Good luck......

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