A
male
age
16-17,
adamclai
writes:I recently lost my virginity to a girl and we were in love, but she moved and things went to hell when she moved, but she broke up with me and i still love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but she has been ignoring me for the past 3 weeks...i send her texts al the time.. what could i say to make her at least talk to me??????
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broke up, lost my virginity, text Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, adamclai +, writes (27 September 2007):
adamclai is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all your very good help and motivation. as much as it hurts me since i wrote this i havnt contacted her, so its been a while, and no we didnt have any closure at al, and i even wrote a few letters to her witch i never plan on giving her just to express how i feel in some way so thanks 4 al the help.
A
female
reader, superbunny  + ♥, writes (16 September 2007):
 I think that talking on the phone would probably be a better option than texts. Texts have no feeling involved, if she loves you + she hears your voice it'll mean so much more than a couple of words in a text. I hope it all works out for the best. x
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  + ♥, writes (16 September 2007):
 Hi,
I’m sorry this happened to you, you are having a heart break and it must hurt badly. I’m sorry to say though, that there are probably no way you could make her talk to you now. I think you must stop texting her, she doesn’t respond which makes it even more hurtful for you. When she broke up with you, did she give you any explanation at all even then? I understand it must be very hard for you if you didn’t get any explanation at all. My advice to you would be to stop contacting her for some good time now until you feel better, at least a couple of months. Then you can try and talk to her again, if you still want it then. If she broke up because she had to move away, then maybe it is hard for her too and she needs some time as well before talking to you about it.
Wish you luck, take care of your heart!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): nothing you can say if shes made her mind up. move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (16 September 2007):
 There is nothing specific to say that will MAKE her talk with you. I think right now you both just need time. I know that you have unfinished business with her and that you want closure on all this but at this time she wont allow that. I know it hurts and it weighs heavy on your conscious but there is little you can do. How far did she move? Did you two break up because of the move?...
As i said you need to give it some time. Maybe if you stop trying to contact her the abstince of your calls will allow her to take a moment for herself and see things differently which could lead her to possibly calling you.
However, nothing is for sure! For some reason despite all you two have been through she just doesnt want to talk with you! That should tell you a few things!!
However, if you feel burdened about all that went on and you need a place to let out how you feel...since she wont give you that i would suggest writing a letter about everything you feel and why your so hurt BUT write the letter to yourself. It really works. It will let you feel alittle bit more at ease with this situation.
~dee
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): Well let me put myself in her shoes. When I ignore a guy it always means that I don't want to talk to him. Maybe I don't love him anymore, maybe I am confused, whatever. So there is NOTHING that you could say to make me feel differently. Why?? Because I am in a frame of mind that anything you could possibly say means nothing. It will go in one ear and out the other. You could say "I love you. I want to marry you." It wouldn't matter. When I don't want to talk to you, I am not going to really be listening to anything you have to say. It's like I am having an emotional ADD of you. This happens to everybody when they feel like your gf feels.
The ONLY thing that gets my attention is only one thing in the entire universe. You want her attention?? There is ONLY one thing that ALWAYS, without fail gets my attention. It is when you STOP calling. My mom has a saying in Spanish that I hope translates well to English which goes "mystery kills." When time goes by and she hasn't heard from you (this is human nature by the way) she is one day going to think, "that's funny, I haven't heard from so and so. I wonder why he stopped calling? Maybe he met someone else?? I wonder what he is up to?? Maybe I should call him??" But then it gets worse. Then she is going to really dwell on that thought and be like "What the hell?? Why haven't I heard from him?? I thought he loved me?? Could he have met someone else?? I can't stand the thought of 'losing' him. I am going to call him cause I just have to know what is going on."
So not hearing from you, not knowing your whereabouts, not knowing if you even care, this is what is going to drive her back in your life. Mystery kills. So right now, if you want her back, all you have to focus on is being a mystery to her. So stop contacting her. You should be excited about how you not contacting her is going to arouse something in her. I know it all sounds like a game. But I think that as you get older you will realise that love is not all that you thought it was. We have a lot of preconceived notions about it. But in a lot of ways it really is all a game. Be tough. Be strong.
Life is a series of lessons. And those who are fittest are the ones who actually learn from these lessons and always get ahead. Have you ever heard the expression "fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me." That is life. So forget what you think you know about it. Let yourself be fooled. But learn from it and don't be fooled again. I am giving you a very valuable lesson here. You want to be emotionally as strong as you are physically fit. So let go and play the game.
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