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We broke up and now I find it very difficult to trust men.

Tagged as: Cheating, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My ex boyfriend was really popular with girls and when I was with him people were always telling me that he was cheating on me. I used to get really upset about it, cry about it and was really disbelieving of them. But then when I broke up with him recently, I saw him the next day canoodling with a girl he used to date. When we were together I had encouraged him to be civil to this girl when he had broken up with her, so it's like I played a part in them getting together again.

Now I find it really hard to trust men, even guys who are just my mates and it's like I can't seem to trust my own judgement with men. Any advice on how I can get over this because for the last few weeks (since I broke up with him) it seems I can't pick myself up and move on because of how things ended with him.

View related questions: broke up, move on

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (1 June 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntI promise you, not all men are like that, you just picked a bad one, and we all have picked a girl or lad who didn't treat us right - it's just a scene of life I'm afraid.

I'm sure you just need time, I've been here too. I split up with my boyfriend and then all my friends f*cked off becoz I apprently lied to them about something... they all came running back when they realised the truth tho didn't they!

I digress, you just need time to sort out your head, you've only just split up with him and you can't be expected to get over him just like that.

Give yourself time and build up that trust again.

As weird as it sounds, the one person whom knows you best right from the start has been you!

You've been single before and you knew yourself well and then that was replaced with this guy. Meet yourself again, remember the things you enjoyed doing when you were single.

What I did, after I split up with my ex was to pretend that the person I loved was someone who has now passed away and that he was replaced by this b*stard. visualise a box, put everything to do with him in it and lock it, throw away the key. Say your goodbyes and move on.

I'm sure deep down you do trust your friends, you just need time to get over this guy. Just remember that it wasn't your friends whio abused your trust, it was this guy.

You're worth more than that hun. Try to smile and make sure he knows that your moving on. It'll annoy the Hell outta him :)

Good luck , message me if ya wanna talk more :) x

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2007):

love-him agony aunthia babe wot hes done is cruel but darlin be thankful your rid of him.. dont let him ruin wot youve got for the future.. you will meet someone who is right for you and spend your future with them.. there is always going to be something gone wrong in your life, for instance.. this bad relationship but put it to the back of your mind.. hes just trying to wind yoo up.. get out ther chick n find ur Mr. Right =] mail me if u want 2 talk x x x

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (31 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntDon't let the past dictate your future. People are not all the same. You can't judge everyone based on the actions of one person. Take some time to heal, then get back up on your horse and try again... :)

DV1

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007):

You have to learn to forgive and forget in order for you to move on with yourself and trust again. Don't worry about it because he will get what's coming to him. In the end you be on top. All men are not the same so don't treat them all the same. You might pass up the one who is meant for you.

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