A
male
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anonymous
writes:Please help me,My ex-girlfriend and I broke up at the weekend and the very next day she started going out with a guy she had only just met. They seem to be a really happy couple and are exchanging sexual flirting to each other (i read it on a discussion board they are both on)We were together for 2 years and I thought we were both in love. Things were a bit difficult at the end of the relationship coz we were arguing quite a bit, but i thought it was something that could resolved.I don't understand how someone can go from one relationship to another straight away. I am left here really sad, and mourning the loss but it's as if she doesn't even care. We shared a lot together and it is heartbreaking that she is now in those great "beginning" stages of a relationship.how can she do this, I don't understand :(
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male
reader, Mustbe  +, writes (31 March 2008):
Men,that is life 4 u,somtimes i dont understand how ppl 4get so so soon,i am in ure condition right now and i tell u my brother,what would be would be,no body understands how u feel,i know u still love her like i do still love my x,listin 2 me,we are all humans,and we all make mistakes,she must have met a jay-z, and got carried away,i can understand how much care u gave to her, i bet u that her new relationship is not a relationship,it's what i call sorrow,she would definately miss u,that is if she even loved u at first,so what u should do is to have a relationship wit God,and concentrate in what u do,there must be a reason why she left u,so try and figure it out and improve in ure self,but don't feel bad,dont feel too good either,don't 4 get,what Mustbe,Must surly Be,If you truly Luv her,Take her back if she is sorry,swipe that pride 4 someone u luve who went silly cos we are flesh, and learn from those mistakes u made,and u'll see ure in control. Good Luck bro....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2006): I have experienced a similar thing a couple of months ago,where my ex started 'seeing' someone within a couple of weeks of our break up(we were together for 18 months).It hurt a huge amount, to think I could be forgotten about so quickly.However,I soon realised that he was just on the rebound.
I find it pathetic that he is trying to hide his sadness by being with someone else.He even told me that he was still very upset about our breakup-while he was seeing his rebound! My ex has been 'seeing' two separate people in the space of 6 weeks.
It can seem almost impossible to move on at the initial stage of a break up,but it will happen. Confide in your friends or family about how you feel, it can be a lot of emotions to deal with alone.I feel that the way my ex has treated me reflects hugely on his morals, I know that I am better off without him and that he will have to live with his lies and bad behaviour forever, whereas i can move on and be happy on my own, and in the future with a new partner.
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A
female
reader, Bagachips +, writes (30 June 2006):
Im sorry..I recently had a situation where it was kind of similar. I My ex boyfriend was planning on leaving to start his PHD, and we already knew he was throughout the entire relationship he was going to leave. We dated for 4 mos. I know its not your 2 years.. Im sorry. I always had some type of control of my mental stability becuase we were not sure, and I purposelly didnt say things to him, that you normally say to someone after 4 mos.. because I knew he was leaving. I wanted to protect myself.Im doing all right, it makes it easy that he cheated on me. The power of words and actions... it'll get to you and I knew that. Yes I was head over hills for him was very attentive. But a cheater is a cheater. I even asked him if he wanted to date anyone else, and me vice versa.... but he refused and said "he cared about me too much." Cheaters are insecure, all he wanted was the attentive girlfriend that wasnt dating anyone all to himself. They are selfish people and very insecure. They are who they are... Im sorry. Let her get her problems figured out with other guys. But I don't like the negative aspect of "once a cheater always a cheater".... that sounds controlling... becuase you have no idea who they will be in the next few years. But nonetheless, let her do her own thing, and you as well... see what will happen after a year or two. Just get that mental stability.. Thats horrible that it was two years of dating.. If she still lives in your area then GOOD LUCK.If you have any questions, feel free to contact me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your advice, particularly the anonymous person who was in a 7 1/2 yr relationship.
I am going to stay strong and get over this... thanks again :)
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A
male
reader, martini  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Stop trying to understand it, and just move on. It's over and that's that. Fin. End of story. Roll the damn credits!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 She may be following the old adage "when you fall off a horse, get right back on". Keeping busy is a great therapy for a broken heart. If it is working for her maybe you should try it. Just stay busy and try to find some fun. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): You sound like you've been through hell with her and it's unforgiveable that she is with someone so soon after finishing with you. I agree with "hot advice" she was seeing him behind your back, it makes no difference whether they were being intimate, she was clearly uncommited to you and cheating by cofiding with this other bloke. You have to move on, trust me I know, my ex dumped me after 7 1/2 years and lied throughout the whole thing.
She moved in with him a couple of weeks later. I doubt whether your ex's new relationship will last, once a cheat allways a cheat, and it will not be long before she starts messing around again after the honeymoon period passes by, and be certain it will.
I think you must try and forget her, it will not be easy but in time you will realise she was not the right one for you - better to see this now than to find out like I did 7 1/2 years later. Surround yourself with good friends and start having some fun again, you probably won't want to do this immediately but 4 months on (as I am) and things start to look much better. If she tries to make up you really have to be strong, try not to be tempted as once the trust is gone the relationship will allways be worthless.
If she had have been honest and just told you she liked someone else, and she felt she had a future with this new person it wouldn't be as bad, but it is the lieing that cuts you up. Things will improve don't let her get you down, she's not worth it! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): she could just be going out wiv him to try and get over you if she hasn't fully stopped having feelings for you yet.
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A
female
reader, Hot (Advice) +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Sounds like she knew him WHILE you were together. Oh my that is harsh. There is no way she could have met someone just like that, no she has taken you for a ride. Shit that has got to hurt like crazy. (Sorry about the swearing but I get mad at poeple who behave like this!!)
The fact you were arguing towards the end indicates her unhappiness in the relationship, think back to when the arguing started, that would probably indicate when she was likely to have met this other guy.
Well, you are definately better off without her. This new so called reltionship she has now won't last. You however, have come out the best. Don't waste your time thinking of her, of course you are sad, I really hope you can talk to friends and enjoy being single again in time. It will take time and you are hurting right now. Take it easy honey and take care of yourself. xx
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