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We broke up and I don't think I have the same feelings for her....

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2006)
A male , *azer writes:

Hi, I split from my partner Five weeks ago, after two and a half years together, there is a sixteen year age gap between us, she has a 6 year old boy and me a 6 year old girl both from previouse relationships, everything was fine for 11 months, then things started to change,she became jelouse of my past resented the fact i had a child with another women, when my daughter used to come and stay,it always felt not right, as if i was treading on egg shells unable to show any affection to my daughter without it been thrown in my face, and that i did not show enough affection and interest to her son, and do enough with him, we started to argue infront of the children, i had warned her three different times that she has to change her attitude or the relationship will fail, she didn't and the inevitable hapened, i have kept in touch, but she is devestated, she says now that after talking to her mother she has realized where she has gone wrong, and that we can work this out, i have said i will take her out this week, to see how things go,however i do not feel the same anymore towards her, because of what has hapened, and all i think about at the moment is protecting my daughter, i still have feelings for her but are they the right ones?? Hopefull...........sorry bit long.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006):

I have so much respect for you for putting your child first.

Deep down you know this is not the woman for you.There is no need to restart the relationship again. She made that clear that she had to come first before your own daughter and that is wrong,wrong,wrong. She will not change her ways, trust me. You know what you have to do and good luck to the future for your daughter and yourself.

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A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (19 April 2006):

shania agony auntYour girlfriend has low self esteem and therefore takes it out on you when you want to show affection to your daughter,she has no right to do that,your child is the most precious thing in the world to you,and you have had to stop loving her to suit your girlfriend,im afraid she is being very selfish.Also you have told her on numerous occasions for her to change her attitude,yet she has never bothered,now she has asked you again for another chance but i feel that you haven't the same feelings for her now and maybe you feel that you have to give it another go out of duty,but what about your daughter? You come as a package and your girlfriend has to realise that.Its up to you of course but i dont think your heart is really in it to start again? Unless she changes her jealous attitude,you two dont have a future.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2006):

I would say first of all you sound like a genuine and nice person, whatever you do don't go back. You cannot place anyone before your child, your woman is jealous, it's like a disease and she will not change, however much she tries to.

I take it you have never been jealous of her son (sorry the result of her past relationship) if you have then you are definately no hopers together. If not you will end up really detesting the woman and continuing to tread on eggshells.

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