A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me at the end of this summer after 10 months, I didn't want to break up, but he said that he couldn't be in serious relationship at this point in his life (we are both 20), he still loves me and still wants me in his life in a significant way, we kiss, we cuddle, we occasionally have a drunken sex night, we do homework. I am fine with all of these things but he isn’t a good friend to me, he doesn’t think of anyone but himself, he hast his thing where he doesn’t do things unless he wants to, he cant even make plans the day before for something because he might not want to do it the next day. Besides this I love him and I feel completely comfortable around him, I can say and do anything, we are super close and we love each other a lot. Will he ever change? Will he ever grow up? Am I stupid for waiting for him? Is this emotional struggle that I go through everyday with him worth it? He makes me so happy, I just wish he would put more effort in. I have lots of boys that like me, and they would usually spark my interests but I love him and cant give any of them a chance even if I wanted to. I thought a solution might be to remove him from my life until I get over him, and then we could be friends, but I miss him too much. Its hard to do take something out of your life that you know makes you the happiest person on earth. What do I do? It’s been 5 months since we broke up. This is one of the hardest choices I’ve had to make. I don’t want to lose a potential future husband.
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male
reader, Dakotanative +, writes (22 February 2007):
Girl, you are only 20. Way too young for something serious. He is taking advantage of the fact that he can get sex whenever he wants without working for it. Not that casual sex is bad. You just need to shop around also. If the sex is good with him, make the best of it, but don't expect him to be committed. when you are 25, start thinking about the long term.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
Oooh, this guy is having his cake and eating it too. He's living the single life and he's got you to do "girlfriend" like things with him. When you say he "doesn't think of anyone but himself", you're dead on. Right now he's using you for that emotional connection that he craves and at the same time he can hit on girls and say he's single. He's got it all.
There are tons of potential husbands out there. Just reading this I know you're a great girl... why waste such greatness on such a loser that you're doting on right now? He needs to learn a lesson. After you leave, he might have fun living it up as a single guy... but down the road he's going to really regret letting you go. When that time comes, laugh in his face.
Go find a guy who appreciates you for the great girlfriend you are. This guy is a self-centered jerk.
xxIndia
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (22 February 2007):
 He is probably fine with all of those things you do together because there are no strings attached. You've probably heard the expression, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? Well, he's getting his milk whenever he needs it 'cause you're there to supply it.
He's using you and you're letting him. It's just that simple.
If you want things to change, you need to take action.
Cut off his umbilical cord that's attached to you and move on with your life.
Your potential husband is out there waiting for you . . . not this loser.
Good luck!
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