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We barely talk and when we do its all negative!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ilpinkone writes:

Me and my boyfriend are constantly arguing atm. I put it down to my hormones and that's why I've been more argumentative. However, it's starting to feel like we actually hate each other! We've been together dead on a year and things have been brilliant. We've had a few things happen that would've broken another couple but we've pulled through! Now we barely talk and when we do its usually picking at each other, winding each other up or arguing.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIf you feel it is your hormones then talk to a doctor? Maybe get on some medication. My guess is you feel you are the one beginning the arguments? If it is starting to feel like you hate one another then the communication has completely broken. You need to find it again. You both need to work towards talking to each other and understanding how each other feels. Try and understand where each one off you are coming from. If you cannot do this alone then go see a therapist. You cannot say what you have been through would break up another couple, because that is not for you to say. Plenty off couples have a life time off worries throwing at them and it makes them stronger. So don't compare your problems to any other couple, you are unique and you need to work together to improve things.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2017):

Sometimes, something in us changed but we just don't see it yet. Being in a relationship for only one year, you should still be in the honeymoon phase. Or at least the Im not giving up yet phase. But to constantly argue about anything and everything is a result of two things : you are not compatible or somewhere deep down, your feelings towards each other changed. If it's a compatibility issue, then it's an easy fix. Every couple will go through a phase where they are learning about each other and learning how to adapt to each other. Hence there will be a phase to constant arguements. There is hope, these arguments do eventually stop after you've gotten 'adjusted' to each other. You'll understand each other better and will learn to compromise. Then the relationship will be smoother and you will find that you've gotten closer to each other. If the reason for your arguments is the latter, then there is nothing you or anyone can do to change it. You will soon realize your feelings have changed and the best option is to partg ways. Hope it's just a bit of compatibility issue. Good luck!

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (13 February 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWhat are you getting from this relationship? What is holding you together? If you are already like this after just a year, how will you be in a few years?

If you honestly believe this is all down to your hormones (although, in my book, it takes two to argue), go and see your doctor. There may be something which can be done to help you.

However, don't assume responsibility for the arguments if he is equally to blame.

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