A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We are not yet really in relationship yet, we are getting close there. His brother family is living with him. Recently he told me that he feels like his brother’s wife likes him, she kept trying to be close to him. Few time she tried to hug him from behind. I live in different state, so all I can do is to tell him to be careful and tried not to let her get close. I also told him if he could talk to his brother about it. He said he did not want to talk to his brother about it because he didn’t want his brother unhappy. Also they are moving out in few weeks, so he tried to keep quiet to make everyone happy. So he tried to control himself but not reject her when she tried to touch him. All he does is to tell her that it is not right every time she played mind games with him.But 2 weeks before they moved out, he had lost the control and had fallen to her trap and I don’t know how many time. Now he felt guilty about that and hiding from people and didn’t even want to talk to me. I tried to contact him but he did not answer . Finally he texted me and admitted what he had done and said sorry. And now he just wanted to be alone and hiding from people. His brother’s family had moved out . I still like him but I am not sure if I should forgive that and continue to move on with him or I just think of him as a normal friend. And I don’t know how it is going to be in the future as the sister in law is still there, part of his family, they still have to see each other in any family event. And I am sure she is still very interested in him because she told him that she likes him very much and she was not happy with his brother ( lots of unhappy stories about her and her husband ). Could anyone give me any advise ? Thanks
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move on, moved out, sister in law, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2019): Thank you everyone for advices!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (15 January 2019):
 NO, NO, NO and NO again. You do NOT want someone like that for a partner. If he cannot be loyal to his own brother, he is not going to be loyal to you. He did not "fall into the SIL's trap". She did not handcuff him and force him to do anything. He did it because he COULD. He might have regrets NOW but, at the time, he CHOSE to go along with it.
A work colleague of mine was in a similar situation a couple of years ago. One of SILs' came onto him STRONG. She suggested they meet up to go for a run (both were training for a run at the time), took him to a park where she parked up her car and tried to talk him into having sex with her. Do you know what happened? NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING. That's because my colleague has morals and loyalty towards his family. He told her, in no uncertain terms, that this was NOT a good idea and that he did NOT want ANYTHING to do with her in that way. She kept asking things like "If I wasn't married to your brother, would you fancy me?" and he just kept replying "But you ARE married to my brother and it is NEVER going to happen". That is exactly what this guy should have done but failed to do.
Stay away from him unless you feel you deserve to be cheated on. Doing that to your own brother proves he is either very weak or has no morals, or both. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2019): The loser you lust after lusts after another woman, his own brother's wife! How much lower can he go? You don't think very highly of yourself to even consider this guy as relationship material. He isn't! Think more of yourself. Find a guy who can keep his dick in his pants! This guy can't! You think you will magically change his ways? Good luck! You are going to find out the hard way when he cheats on you with this woman or any woman!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2019): I want to add one more thing to Honeypie answer that the sister in law told him all unhappy stories of her and her husband, that is why he knows.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2019): Thanks for your advise. I am considering now about if HIS actions are something I would want in a partner or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2019): I have to agree with Honeypie. This bull manure that men can't resist sex is a myth. He wouldn't have done it; unless he wanted to.
Was it rape?
If he knew how concerned you were, considered it's his brother's wife; and felt an inkling of faithfulness towards you; he would have resisted. He had too many reasons he shouldn't; but he let his penis decide.
His own brother's wife? Where does that fit on your list of deal-breakers?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2019): He fell into her "trap" willingly because that is what he wanted. He's a weak and untrustworthy man. He betrayed his brother and could do the same to you. I think you would be unwise to enter into any kind of relationship with him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 January 2019):
 You aren't in a relationship so you DON'T have to forgive ANYTHING he has done. What you can do is decide if HIS actions are something you would want in a partner or not.
And stop making him out to be some poor sad VICTIM who has no say in what goes on in his house.
The sister-in-law is NOT some big bad spider who uses all kinds of mind-games to SNARE your "friend" here. And your "friends" isn't some innocent victim fly.
He is a GROWN ass man who can TELL a sister-in-law to STOP touching him and if she doesn't stop tell her, he will TELL his brother. Of that he HAS to GTFO of his house. He is allowing it NOT just to keep the peace with his brother, but because HE got something out of it. Don't be so naive.
Personally, I wouldn't want to have any kind of romantic thing with a guy who has the hots for his Sister-in-law. And yes, I think he does.
He even knows all the unhappy stories of hers about HIS OWN brother! Seriously?
I would back away, wish him luck but NOT get sucked into this Jerry Springer drama.
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