A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been dating my g/f for about 4 years and we were so comfortable with each other that we started picking out children's names and planned on moving in together and establishing our lives together. eventually though, within the past year, i got scared. i am on the verge of graduating college with a shitty part time job in retail, i got scared that i would not be able to financially support us and instead of actually talking to her i decided to ignore anything about marriage and the future. i was also getting bored with our relationship and having my doubts about whether i loved her or not. She stayed with me for 3 months while i dealt with this, and now she is in the same boat. she doesnt know if she is happier in the relationship or not, she doesnt know if she wants to stay with me because she wants me or because she needs me. and i dont want to force her to do anything she doesnt want to do, i dont want to force her to stay in the relationship. but i have a feeling that im not going to be able to move on at all. i am going to be a train wreck. i dont necessarily think she has fallen out of love with me, because if she has i think she would have been able to make up her mind already. however, sometimes i wonder if i should break it up for her just to make her decision easier. i really dont want to lose my girlfriend. i love her more than anything. she is my best friend and i really dont know what to do in order to fix this [if it can be fixed]
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (1 February 2008):
 You have a lot going on right now. Focus on getting through graduation. Don't make any decisions until your mind is clear. Sometimes when you are in a gray mood everything is gray. Your feelings about your shitty retail job (your words) could be wandering in the relationship. Do you think you can try to separate the two? If she has been with you for three months of your down days it most likely has affected her feelings for you and that could be why she is feeling a little unhappy about the two of you.
I think you both need to spice things up a bit and go on a "first date". Have some fun and if possible, repeat what you did when you first dated. All relationships ebb and flow in life. You have been in yours for a long time, certainly enough to have an ebb. Work to get past it.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 You are traveling along the same journey and on the same boat.If your boat develop a leak, patch it.The important thing is that you love each other and help carry each other . Do not worry about the future.
Concentrate on graduating from your college first.
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