A
female
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anonymous
writes:ok. i'm reposting this in hopes of getting more of a response and more view points. ok. so this is the story. i met this guy a year ago and we became friends. everyone noticed there was chemistry between us. but i always figured it was a lost cause because he has a girlfriend. the problem is he keeps behaving inappropriately, some times when we're together alone, for example one night having no where to stay, he stayed with me he slept in my bed and he would wrap his legs around mine, and at one point he pinned me to my bed and his mouth was half an inch from mine. this sort of thing has been going on for about a year now but he still has the girlfriend, although she has been living in another country for 2 and a half years of their 3 year relationship. we're such good friends i don't want to lose that but he obviously has some sort of feelings for me though we've never talked about it. clearly i have feeling for him too or i wouldn't let it go on but i have no idea what do to . should i talk to him, what would i even say?
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female
reader, rhythmandblues2  + ♥, writes (24 October 2006):
 Well, it is always a tough decision when you have a friend of the opposite sex and you are trying to decide whether or not to risk the friendship with becoming sexually intimate, which is what will happen if you keep cuddling up in bed together.
I am a bit confused as well because it is sort of telling that he is maintaining a relationship with a girl who has lived out of the country for 2 years of a 3 year relationship...perhaps she is just a security blanket to him, or maybe he is really committed to her and is just lonely so he cuddles up with you and is restraining himself from sex because of his committment, which means he is a heck of a fellow and I see why you like him.
I guess if I were in your shoes, I would ask myself a couple of questions, is this love I am feeling, or merely an attachment based on proximity and chemistry or is there more here....do we fit together enough to risk a friendship over a romance....is it worth the risk??? Romance is fun after all! No ONe can answer this for you, only you can tell what to do or say, but if you want this to go further, you might want to say something like "I am really attracted to you, and I was wondering if you feel the same about me. What is up with your girlfriend?" Or you could just simply kiss him and see if what happens, but talking about it may be wise before one of you gets hurt. Hope it works out the way you want it to!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): you definitely need to talk to him and be sure in yourself that he doesn't just want his cake and eat it. how often does he see his girlfriend? it might be that he is just scared of being alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): in my opinion, most people won't sleep cuddled up with someone unless they really want to. and he probably wouldn't put his lips so close to yours unless he wanted you to know he wanted to kiss you. that's pretty obvious. it just seems to me that maybe he's scared of making a move because possibly he thinks that you don't feel the same way back? who knows. but try talking to him. i know that's so cliche, but communication is key. if you can get the guts, pull him aside or ask him when it's just the two of you hanging out. face-to-face would be good. but the both of you may feel more comfortable over the internet. you decide which you'd rather do. but i'd just go ahead and be straight-forward with this guy. ask him what his intentions are. but in my opinion, if i had to guess, he seems like he's interested in you. i sure know that i wouldn't want to cuddle up with just anyone. and i sure wouldn't put my face that close to someone i didn't want to kiss. but that's just me. sometimes people baffle me. good luck.
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