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We are curious about sex but not sure where or who to go to for advice

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 March 2016)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

The most me and my boyfriend have done is kiss, cuddle and some masturbation. We are both fine with that but that is because we really cannot aks anybody. It is not like we can ask our dads how we have sex. We have tried having sex but i guess we have a lot to learn. It is only in the last month or so we have thouhgt about it. We google stuff but that just shows people doing it. W e have tried stuff but stop because it hurts. Whether you can advise us or not or tell us were to go for information would help both of us. A safe gay youth site would help us a lot but how do we know that particular gay youth site is safe. We are both very cautious when searching and seeking advice. We also do not want to tell people until we are ready

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2016):

Sex shouldn't need an instruction manual. If you have to google it, maybe it's because you're not ready. It's okay not to be ready. It really is! If you're both into it, try with oral first. I am sure you can figure that one out or just figure it out through experimenting. On each other. Honestly, I only learned through experimenting and porn bc I was very sheltered and didn't have the opportunity to even have private conversations w my female friends let alone go on a one on one date with a guy! TBH, I really wasn't interested and was horrified the first time someone tried to tongue kiss me. Thats because I wasn't allowed to even watch disney movies or listen to music with percussion involved.

I would say start with oral, practice licking the anus, sticking your tongue in, etc. Then, using lube, go one finger at a time. Obviously don't even try sex until you do each of those for awile. My advice is to work you way up to three fingers before you put anything else in. Even then, when you do try penis, go SLOW with the depth, working your way deeper.

But again, you may just not be ready! I had sex long before I was ready and it was awful. It took a string of frustrated and angry boyfriend s before someone was a kind and patient teacher

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (19 March 2016):

Denizen agony auntMany people are choosing non-penetrative sex these days as their preferred option. It reduces the risk of infection among other things. I would stick with your current practice for now if I were you. There is no need to rush into anything which makes you uncomfortable.

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