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Was what he did wrong?

Tagged as: Sex, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 December 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey guys. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and if you could give me advice I'd be really grateful. This would be really long if I went into detail so I'll just go over the basics. I used to date this guy and our relationship became physical. We broke up but decided to stay friends. One night last week I was sleeping over at his house because I had accidentally locked myself out of my own house and no one else was home. He kept trying to touch me in private places which I wasn't very comfortable with. I told him that I didn't want us to have any kind of sexual contact at all but he still kept doing it. He kept putting his hand down my pants and down my top. After a while of trying to touch me, he got on top of me and pulled my jeans down. He tried to have sex with me but I begged him to get off of me. He got off and apologised. Although he apologised for it I keep thinking that what he did was wrong because I made it clear from the very beginning that I didn't want to do anything like that. Was what he did wrong?

I'm a bit scared because my period is late and I'm getting a few pregnancy symptoms. I was on the pill when we were together but one night I had been sick less than an hour after taking it so I could have gotten pregnant then. I don't want to have a child with him if what he did was wrong. I haven't taken a pregnancy test yet but when I do, I hope it's negative. If I am pregnant, should I let him be a part of me and the child's lives?

View related questions: broke up, period, pregnancy test, the pill

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (20 December 2010):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntWhat do you mean by, "our relationship became physical". Your relationship became physical in the sense of being abusive?

If so, you are better off homeless for a night than with a guy that will hit you.

If not, then you thought he was a friend there to help you out.

Not your fault.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010):

That, to me, was attempted rape. If you didn't actually have sexual intercourse then you're not pregnant. Either way, stay away from this guy and if he ever tries to come near you again, threaten him with the police.

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A male reader, IHateWomanBeaters United States +, writes (20 December 2010):

IHateWomanBeaters agony auntDid you actually have sex with him?

If not, then you are not pregnant.

As far as what he did to you. It was assault.

One thing women need to learn is that if you were to say no and he continues, it is sexual assault.

IF you are pregnant, you DO NOT let him be a part of your lives, since it was baby conceived through rape.

Never speak to him again.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (19 December 2010):

fi_the_tree agony auntYes, what he did was wrong, you said no from the beginning. Take a test and if it's negative then don't ever speak to him again.

Even though he apologised, he should have never done anything in the first place. In future, make sure you always have your keys on you!!!

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