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Was this behaviour rude?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

HI everyone,

So, I have a friend that asked if I wanted to meet up today. I told her I had a wedding to go to. She headed downtown (a 40 min drive) to hang out and asked to meet up after the wedding.

So after the wedding I message her to let her know I am going to change clothes and would be in route after. She is with two other women, one of whom I know and thought we were pretty cool with each other.

They kept bouncing from place to place and did not settle on one spot. I told my friend when I got in the vicinity I would pull over somewhere to contact her. I let her know I arrived and asked where they were so I could meet them.

She asked me to stay put. I felt it was a good idea since they were not far and I said we could all decide where to go when they got to me. 20 min go by and she messages me saying they are getting ready to come to me now. A few minutes later she said her other friend just met a guy, so they are at another bar with him. My friend said she was sorry. 20 more minutes go by and she messages me that they are on the way.

Lastly, her friend decided she was hungry and wanted to go eat...right next door from where they originally were. I waited, in my car, at a gas station for an hour. My gut told me to leave and go home then, I felt that was pretty rude. But I continued on, I headed to where they were but needed to park. I drove around for another 45 minutes looking for parking. It is a holiday weekend. I gave up and drove the 45 minutes BACK home.

How would you guys feel? I felt like it was rude to keep me waiting at a gas station for an hour so you can follow a guy around, then eat. Don't get me wrong, before I left the house I asked if they wanted to go eat, suggested a spot to meet at and my friend said her friends said they did not want to eat they wanted to continue to "party."

I feel like her friend must not like me (haven't met the other one). I have been out with her a few times and she gets belligerent when she drinks but other than that she seemed likable. Also, I thought it was odd she did not think to invite me to her birthday celebration when I invited her to mine, and my boyfriend's.

I am okay with her not liking me, I just want to know if anyone else thinks that was rude.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYea, I find that rude. Personally, I wouldn't have sat around and waited for 45 minutes for them to figure out where they "might" go.

And your friend? She is a wimp. She could have TOLD the other women, hey "Mary" is on the way, let's just hang here til she gets here, and if THEY said, no we want to go here or there, SHE (your friend) could WAIT for you and YOU two could meet up with the other women.

Next time I would not plan any meet ups without know exactly where I'm going.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2014):

They are all a bunch of cows and I would never meet up with them ever again, no excuse is good enough for this stunt. Get real friends and next time stay at the wedding party.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2014):

Hey guys, original poster here. I forgot to make one thing clear. My friend had her car parked elsewhere so she was riding with her other 2 friends. It was not her, it was them. They were the rude ones. She felt bad. She never does anything like that.

Thanks for your responses. I need to stop wondering and always go with my gut. Listening to yourself is very important. I have always had an issue with double checking. I need to listen to me. thank you for taking the time to respond guys.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2014):

Of course it was very rude. I had a friend like this, who is for the same reason is not my friend anymore. We never had a fight, I just got sick of her behaving like this.

She got me stranded several times also like this. After last One I stopped answering her phone calls and communication died completely. I waited for her for almost an hour also at one bar, and then my phone died and I went home. She never even called me to apologize.

Your friend after you told her that you will call her when you get close was supposed to be ready anytime to leave and pick you up, or sit at a place waiting for you. To keep going with moving from place to place meeting random guys, following him, then going to eat, knowing that at this time you are sitting in your car is beyond rude.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 August 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntOf course it was rude to say the least. you got ditched(as we used to call it) take a hint and make new friends. this "friendship" has gone down the proverbial crapper.Good Luck, sorry for your pain but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

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