A
female
age
41-50,
*rowneyes73
writes:here is another question: i have been in an 10 year relationship. we have one child together. he says every year we are going to get married...never got a ring. not going to happen. he has been married before.. he says my attitude gets in the way (thats an excuse).. i feel like im wasting my time with him... i asked him where does he see us in a year or two.. and he says no where,.... was that my clue to get out and find someone who will love me for me unconditionally? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Hi, wasn't this your other post? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-married-but-he-still-wants-to-sleep.html
You have a lot of stuff going on right now, don't you? Why didn't you put all these questions together in one big one so people could understand what you were going through?
I feel sorry that you are going through such turmoil. I would venture to say that you are young enough to find someone to love you, and that you don't have to fall back on the married ex. I think that would be a disaster, based on this post. Things are complicated enough and your feelings would get thoroughly chewed up and spit out by this ex, just as they apparently are getting stomped on and kicked by this current guy.
Why did you stay after year three? I would give you year one and year two as natural patience, but after year three, then four and five and six, you must have realized he didn't mean a word.
I think you should leave and start fresh, and not with someone else's husband for a start. Try being by yourself and your child and figure out why it is you put up with this for so long? What's happening in your head that allows you to be stuck in these un-nurturing relationships? Why don't you love you enough to be strong and leave a bad situation?
I think it's time to address that issue, with the help of a counselor, preferably. Do you have any girlfriends you can confide in? Maybe ask if they have any referrals for you. Or talk to your doctor and ask if she can refer you. There are qualified people out there that can help. I think it would be a wise move for you, so you can face the rest of your life with a good deal more self-knowledge and self-love.
Take care.
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