A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey this is in regards to long distance realtiolnsihp/ romance. any help or expect advice in this area would be appreciative I posted a while ago about how i maintained my distance from my long distance lover (girl) because of fear of heartbreak / and me getting cold feet about having a LDR commitment. Anyway me and this girl we had a long distance "romance" which lasted about 7 months from july to december last year, around december we began drifting. i rejected her tellin her that im im not ready for long distance (even tho we were pretty much a couple ) as i would be hard and it would be better for us to have a normal relationship untill we meet up. Rewind back to the beggining in july, she said she would always wait for me, but not wait forever and that she would like the relationship to be before the end of the year. So now its march 2011 this was last year and she is still at me, but let me clarify in detail - around febuary this year we began talking again, so we went a couple months without talking, anwyay she was still the same, always pressing me to meet up and be togather, she had only said she missed me 'once' during 2011 (just so u know) However now heres the part im abit worried about, when we drifted apart in decemeber, she got back with her ex of 2 years, (they dated before we met). that only lasted til febuary, about the same time we got back in contact in febuary. when we spoke I asked her, why did you get back with him. and she replied, " because i was waiting fo someone (ie: me) but you didnt want me so i gave up and i wnet back to him, but it doesnt matter " and then i replied, " thats what i thought" because this wohle time my insticts told me she was using me to get her mind of her ex. anyway during this convosation she said she only wants to see me, yet i maintained my harsh standpoint that i was in no way ready to meet up, because it would make it worse. So my question is, do you really think she is waiting? and loves me? or was her attention for me based around her close proximity relationship with her ex? and by that i mean, she was using me to get her mind of him, I hope people understand what angle im seeing this at. During our "ldr romance" we said we loved eachother, and talked about marriage, kids, the whole deal. This wasnt just a fling, tihs was seirous, but for some reaosn my instict mechanism kicked in, because of her situation with her ex, i wasnt sure what to believe. if anyone can input on tihs, be greatly appreicatged..
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey pal, cheers i was thinking along the same lines, HENCE MY STANDPOINT ON MAINTAINING MY DISTANCE WITH THIS SPECIMEN. lol I told her just take things slow and we will wait it out, yet she has some "urgency" to meet up , i dont know why, Her ex and fear of heartbreak is the only thing holding me back, everytime i refused to meet up, she would go nuts. I duno man, women are confusing. Might just go live on a island by myself and live of the land. cheers for the reply dude appreciate. it.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (29 March 2011):
 i think u dissappointed her big time. she stated so many times she wants to meet you,but u were being difficult.
then she (so she says - it might be a lie to make u jealous) got back with her ex.
go see her as soon as possible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): Hey pal!
Wow Ill try to help here. To be honest, it doesnt like she knows what she wants i e her feelings are confused and as a result, you are in limbo. Yes, you did not exactly have mutual feelings in wanting to meet up but that doesnt mean you cant take it slower and still be exclusive. She went back to her ex and this tells me she still has feelings for him and she doesnt care if she drags you in the middle. This is a huge red flag and a sign of great immaturity. And with that package comes more heartbreak altogether. Good luck on this.
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