A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We were out of town with another couple for a concert.And we all stayed in the same hotel but on different rooms.After the concert the four us had quite a bit of alcohol through out the night.We decided to go back to the other couples room and drink some more.I went to our room for something while the 3 of them (my husband included)Went to the other couples room.When I walked in,her boyfriend was sitting on the bed and she was sitting on my husbands lap in a chair.Should I be worried??Now I don't know if I can trust my husband when he is out of town for work when he's been drinking??He claimed that (He thought I was in the room the entire time).Was he going to do something behind my back?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2016):
 When people drink to much alcohol they let there guard down and can become more affectionate and touchy feeling. My guess is that she was like this and decided to harmlessly sit on his knee. Sweetie I think you need to have more faith and trust in your husband, unless off course he has gave you reasons to question is infidelity?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2016): Where there is smoke, there is fire.I would be terrified if I were you every time my husband got drunk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2016): It is difficult to tell. It could have been just a friendly gesture on her part or it could have been an attempt to convince your husband to have a foursome. I am enclined to say it was a friendly gesture induced by booz and party atmosphere.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2016): Well no I don't think so because her boyfriend was on the same room as that lady so your husband just had too much to drink..he didn't even see any problem about her seating in his lap...so my sister relax and try to trust your man we all knw that wen we had too much of alcohol we don't really know ourselves and we do some stupid things...just forgive him and move on and please next time try to limits the average of alcohol because it is the very same thing that made u so angry towards your husband
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 November 2016):
 I don't think he was going to try doing anything behind your back, at least not in that occasion. With the other guy just sitting there in front of him ?! And you coming back any minute ( as it punctually happened ) ?!
This seems strictly like an alcohol fueled thing with alcohol making people more effusive and touchy- feely than when sober.
Now, I noticed that your question is, precisely : what if he drinks too much when he is alone, and away for work ? Would he become " effusive " as well ?
I have trouble answering your question, - not only because I don't know your husband but also because, basically, I don't get it .
I mean, there would be such a simple solution ! Your husband does not HAVE to get drunk just because there are drinks to be bought, right ?
If you, or he, or both are afraid that when he drinks he may lose any self control and sort of lose his head and do stuff he'd never do when sober- well, then he can choose to NOT drink at all. Or at least , stick to a very moderate alcohol consumption.
Now, I sort of sense that this is not as intuitive as it sounds to me. I come from a country which does not have a pervasive drinking culture like USA ; here people can go either way, and match drinking to time and occasion- they can enjoy a few drinks , but also drink nothing if circumstances warrant it. No big deal. ( Although, I am sorry to say that in the last 10 years the younger generations are doing their best to try and keep up with their American or Northern European peers in terms of weekend binges. ).
So, I realize that goung dry it's easier said than done, when people are so used to connect automatically " having fun " and " relaxing " with imbibing too much.
Then again, .. logic is still logic... if drinking makes you " stupid " - then don't drink,no ?
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