A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear allI posted about my situation a while ago, but it has changed since so i want to know what you think. My girlfriend (its long distance at the moment) went clubbing, got drunk and can't remember what happened. she took a morning after pill the next day, was worried she could have been raped and also said a guy kissed her. but despite that, she seemed fine about it, not upset at all. it felt supsicious, so that is what i posted about before.She promised me nothing else happened.Today she told me a bit more. It turns out she kissed that guy, and also 3 other guys, and 1 girl. she put her hand down someones trousers and let a guy touch her boobs. a guy took her back to her room and she tried to kiss him but he apparently resisted and left.She promises me nothing else happened.Two questions.1) what do you think I should do?2) do you consider this to be cheating?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 July 2019):
 Yeah, she has cheated. She kissed multiple people and had sexual contact with others, that is cheating in everyone’s book. There’s nothing here to question.
First she said she may have been raped and now she’s slowly revealing what actually happened. Who the hell says they ‘may’ have been raped when they damn well know what happened? I’m 99.99% sure she had sex that night and she made up the rape story to cover her tracks for taking the morning after pill.
This girl is bad news, she’s lying through her teeth, run and don’t look back! Why be in a LDR when you can find a partner that lives close by? It makes no sense whatsoever.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2019): YES, OP she was cheating. Probably still IS cheating and will always continue CHEATING! Problem is LDR's are not enough consistent, real life contact with each other. Leaves room for wandering eyes, libidos and hearts. These are the effects on not seeing each other enough. Her needs aren't being met by you or this relationship. Find someone closer who is LOYAL.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 July 2019):
 I think it's time to wish her well, OP.
She isn't being faithful, even if it's not full on sex.
DO you go around and kiss people that aren't her? My guess is no. Would she do all these things in front of you? Again, my guess is no.
Being in a LDR doesn't excuse bad behavior or inconsiderate behavior. You don't go make out with 5 people, right? So why would it be OK for her to do so?
What she is doing is ERODING your trust in her. And at some point you will have absolutely no trust in her whatsoever and then what? WHAT is the point in dating someone you can't trust? Or who ISN'T trustworthy?
Whatever happened at that event where she got drunk and woke up not remembering, doesn't matter. WHAT does matter is that she is lying to you and letting some of the truth "trickle" out hoping it's more palpable for you, that you will just suck it up and let her "get away" with it.
Is this really the kind of behavior you want from a partner?
SHE isn't going to change OP. THIS is part of who she is.
Wish her well, end it - cut all contact, block all contact and move on. NEXT time, date someone who have the same values and boundaries when it comes to relationships. And preferably someone who isn't LDR.
Sorry.
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