A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:me and my new boyfriend (both in our 20s) were very nervous the about having sex with each other for the first time because of self conscious issues.anyway we eventually had sex last week and i thought it was great. however the next day he text me saying he didnt really know why he was saying this but he felt like he should just say sorry if the sex was crap or wasnt long enough for me to enjoy and he just felt like he should say somethingi text him back reasurring him he had nothing to apologise for and i enjoyed it and he text back saying he was glad and he enjoyed it but he just thought it would have been a bit better but we just need to get comfortable with each other.does this mean i wasnt very good and he didnt enjoy the sex?im really worried now
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female
reader, MBHP +, writes (19 March 2008):
Had the same text conversation with my boyfriend after our first time :) keep at it, dont leave it ages or he'll feel rejected x
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 He is just insecure and was fishing for some compliments for his job well done.
There is nothing to be worried about.
Men are fearful or concerned about their performances.
They need reassurances that they are good lovers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Nobody's first time is perfect. Just keep practising and experimenting with each other and it soon will be. Try switching positions as most are pleasurable, you will soon be able to tell what works for you and what doesn't. Be comfortable with each other and have fun. The best positions that work for me is cowgirl position and doggy style . . . orgasm everytime! Kay x
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 You will not likely hit a home run the first time you play baseball (do you Brits play baseball?) - you will probably not score a net in your first soccer game - you will not rock the world the first time you sing a song.
Don't worry about it. That was only the first opportunity to play. It will get better every time.
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A
female
reader, BigSis + ♥, writes (18 March 2008):
 I agree with what Collaroy said..'practice makes perfect'. You are new to eachother, so naturally you are both bound to feel a little worried as to whether you were good or not. Experiment, explore and enjoy every second. The best part of all this IS the practicing, and do you know what?.....before you can say ''pass the tissues please darling'' - you'll be 'practicing' again, then eventually, there be no stopping either of you and that 'rubbish' theory of yours will be history!!Have fun you guys. xXx
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (18 March 2008):
 Hi,
As a guy, I think we worry a lot more about our performance than girls often do. His comments to you defintely indicate this.
These are things we guys worry about: did I satisfy her, was my penis big enough for her, she didnt orgasm so I must be rubbish etc etc.
So dont worry, practice makes perfect, the more you have sex the more you will be comfortable with each other and learn to explore each others bodies. Next time you have sex, spend plenty of time in foreplay, give each other oral and talk to him , tell him how much he turns you on ( guys love sexy talk from their girls ).
good luck!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (18 March 2008):
 I'm sure that YOU were great in bed. He is probably over at his house thinking that HE was "rubbish". He's probably re-hashing the whole event and driving himself crazy. "Did she like it? Did I go long enough?? What if she hated it? What if I messed up."
He's probably very insecure with himself. And he's right, the more you guys have sex, the better it will be. You'll end up so comfortable around each other, and he won't need this confidence boost. Just reassure him that you enjoyed yourself!
Enjoy, sweetness!
xx India
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): No honey it doesnt necessarily mean anything like that at all. He's probably either feeling you were better and he wasn't good enough for you, or is just thinking he should say something to you! But a few tips for next time (presuming there will be one), google 'sex tips' or something and you can impress him further!
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (18 March 2008):
 You were probably damn fine in bed and he probably feels self conscious for himself and is afraid he thinks that you think HE sucked. I wouldn't worry about it, he probably just needs a good shot of confidence. Sex isn't like it looks in pornos and alot of guys I know are insecure about "how long they last".
-Jmo
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