A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Where did I go wrong? I'm quite a mess at the moment. I just returned from a visit to Europe. Long story short, I was studying abroad for college, and we travelled by coach (bus) to all countries. We always had the same bus, and the same bus drivers/tour guide. This story involves the tour guide. And me. I was attracted to him right at the beginning. We had a conversation, and I knew we had chemistry. (Before you become disgusted, he is only 10 years older than me). Due to regulations from my school, the relationship was not allowed, so I had to proceed with caution. We would talk whenever there was time, and we would just pick up where we left off each time. I didn't have a lot of time during the day to see him, due to my studies and such, but I would see him nearly every night. After a week of building the relationship, and getting to know each other, he kissed me. Every night from there out, we would meet up, talk, kiss, and just spend time together. He opened up to me, more than he had to anyone in a long time, and the same went for me. We just clicked. We talked about something working out between us, but since we had time, we never really came to a conclusion. And then before we knew it, our time was up. He received a call for a job back in London, and he had to fly out that day. Instead of going out that day, I spent a few hours with him. We avoided the subject of "what next", and mainly just enjoyed each other's company. Finally I asked if he wanted to stay in touch. He said "more than anything" and so I left him with my number and my email. The goodbye was the hardest part. Despite the cameras on the coach, and the people surrounding us, he kissed me goodbye. And then he said, "for whatever reason I met you, I know I was meant to." And then he was gone. It has been one week. Exactly. And I haven't heard anything from him. But he is all that I can think about. I can still smell him. A song randomly came on the radio that he had shown me. Every little thing reminds me of him. Yet, I have heard nothing from him. Part of me thinks he'll never reach out. That he'll forget me. I've been hurt before, and I don't want to believe that it will happen again, but I think it already is happening. So where did I go wrong? What is going on in his mind? Was I just a fling? A piece of ass? I am so confused. I have no way to contact him, but even then I wouldn't want to. The ball is in his court. How long do I hold out hope that he will reach out to me? I want so badly for us to work out. I graduate in 3 months, and I can go anywhere -- I even thought about moving to Europe, if we were to work out. Help me please. Advice on healing or hope or patience or whatever. Maybe even just a slap in the face to wake me from this daze. It all feels like a dream. But it was so real. So raw. And better than anything I could have ever imagined. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 October 2015):
 You did not go wrong...
you are ten years younger and in a different country
he drives a bus for a living not a lot of money in that
it was a vacation fling for you...
I'd keep the memories and move on.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (21 October 2015):
Only he can contact you, and he hasn’t. He knows this, so it’s not like he’s waiting for you to make the first move. He knows that if he wants anything more from you, he has to reach out and he hasn’t. I think he’s probably realised that so far apart, nothing can really come of this anyway. He probably realised how keen you were and this is the only way now that he’s able to show you that it’s not going to happen. You just have to presume that nothing more will come of it and get on with your life. Accept it as a nice experience and an example of how it might feel when you meet the right person, but resign yourself to the fact that it’s done and it’s the past. Spend time with friends and do whatever it is you normally do so that you don’t spend too much time thinking about him. I think this is proving hard for you because it wasn’t just a fling but there seemed to be a genuine connection and emotional warmth in this situation but those alone aren’t enough. It will get easier. Also try not to let your guard down so quickly next time. You were kissing within a week and have already been having thoughts of moving to Europe for him. I think you possibly form attachments quite quickly and in that kind of situation that’s no surprise, but really getting that close that quickly is a recipe for getting hurt, whether they have bad intentions or not. I don’t think he did, but it wasn’t ever going to work.
I wish you all the very best.
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