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Was I an asshole?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2009) 26 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2009)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

One night came home after work and was horny as hell. I ended making love to my girlfriend. She's extremely self-conscious about her breasts because of a birthmark and won't take off her bra for me no matter how I beg. Anyway I couldn't take it anymore and ripped off her bra. She got upset, cover herself up and went to the bathroom. Later I felt bad and knock on the door. When she the door open a bit. she didn't use anything to hide herself this time. And as a joke I said "ew whats wrong with your boobs". She started crying and ended up sleeping at her sister's house. She won't answer my call or talk to me at all. Was I a asshole?

View related questions: boobs, bra , breasts, horny

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I went to her house with flowers and candys.anyway we made up.

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A female reader, didda123 United Kingdom +, writes (22 January 2009):

didda123 agony auntDo you really need anyone to tell you whether you have been an asshole - i would say so!

My sister has a really big birthmark on her leg and during out schooldays she was often teased about it which would really upset me, i know that this sort of thing makes you the person you are but you haven't considered any of the torment she has had growing up.

Many women and men have hangups with their bodies your girlfriend has something that she sees as ugly she needs understanding and you have just not considered her feelings one bit you were being very selfish and thinking only of your own needs, you have probably knocked her confidence right back.

I think if you really love her and you get your reconciliation you must have a really serious talk. Tell her exactly how much you love her and find her physically attractive and the birthmark is part of her.

Actions speak louder than words and what you have done will take some unoing but i wish you luck and hope you can sort things out just try to be a bit more sensitive in future x

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A female reader, jackie rose Northern Mariana Islands +, writes (21 January 2009):

jackie rose agony auntaww why did you do that that wasnt very nice. all girls aren't all that perfect you know..well i hope she forgives you!

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A female reader, confused52743 United States +, writes (21 January 2009):

confused52743 agony auntYes you were an asshole, and although the black eye wasn't deserved it was funny.You need to talk to her and explain that you were just joking and it was wrong. tell her you think she is beautiful and the birth mark doesn't mean anything cause you still like her. If she wants to leave her bra on let her, eventually she will be comfortable with you and take it off but don't push her.

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A male reader, Dave128 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2009):

Well it depends if she *does* have a problem with her boobs - or if she thinks she does.

Whatever the case you must respect her wishes and never make her do anything she doesn't want to do.

You should talk about any issues you both have and then maybe you will both feel comfortable being nude together in future.

Just becasue she's you're girlfrind doesn't give you the right make her do what *you* want her to do.

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A female reader, PunkyPippi United States +, writes (20 January 2009):

PunkyPippi agony auntYeah, you're over. And sorry to say, you got what you deserved.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My girl been to my house with her two older brothers. Thanks to them I have a black eye. We r over?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

dude major error - you have to do a lot of worshipping at the temple which is her body if you are going to win her back - maybe as in the bible 7 or 11 years of penance.

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A female reader, graciie; United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2009):

yes you were an asshole

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A female reader, Its_X_ United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

Its_X_ agony auntFlowers won't even come close to fixing this shithole you've created. You were a complete and utter ass hole. You don't deserve her after that stunt.

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A male reader, stonebaby38 United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

It doesn't matter what is on the inside it is what is on the inside that matters. I don't think sorry is a word for what you have done to her.

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A male reader, stonebaby38 United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

I am with Ladee on this one actually

Like she said GOOD LUCK WITH ANY 1 ELSE THAT YOU DATE ASSHOLE

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A male reader, stonebaby38 United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

I think that was the dumbest thing I have ever heard. If I was her I wouldn't take you back. Personaly I think ur a dickhead!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

Were you an asshole? Does water run downhill? Yeah you were actually a MAJOR asshole, and if you did that to a female friend of mine I'd crush your little 18-21 year old nose.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

I just read what she wrote and I think she's really confused and sad. You were a big asshole and I think you should apoligise no matter how hard it's gonna be. You have to remember no one's perfect, there's probably things she thinks is EWW about you but deals with it because she likes you. You deserve her not answering her phone, but you still have time you can say sorry. If she likes you and believes you she will stay with you and another tip... maybe you SHOULDN'T drink so often!

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A female reader, LaydeeOfSorrows Australia +, writes (19 January 2009):

LaydeeOfSorrows agony auntWow...

Good luck with your next girlfriend.

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (19 January 2009):

Griffo agony auntMate, you totally topped arsehole land and sat on the throne! NOT GOOD, when you went to the bathroom door that was her seeing if you would except it and by saying "ew whats wrong with your boobs" just completley shattered her self confidence even more.

Mate, you wanna go back beg on your knees and appologise to her greatly. you could have effected her for the rest of her life and that's totally unfair.

Anyway, what goes around comes around, and if you don't appologise you might get a surprise from a lady someday that publiclay says you are small... think about it!

Not good mate, go back an applogise!

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A female reader, pashanoodle Australia +, writes (19 January 2009):

pashanoodle agony auntYes and you know it. Not only that - you were abusive. Obviously this issue is effecting you as well as your girlfriend - but ou have only gone and made the problem much much worse - chances are your girlfriend will never feel quite safe with you again - she showed you a vulnerability and you took that and taunted her. There were so many appropriate ways you could have handled this - and helped her to trust you and get over her self-consciousness.

Are you disappointed in your own behaviour? If you are - you need to tell her exactly that - no blaming a few drinks or being a bloke - confess to her that you were a complete jerk and that you feel ashamed. She might give you a second chance....

if this is how you treat people you care about you might end up a lonely man one day! You should give that some thought.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

Wow...

What the heck were you thinking?! I understand totally about the first part, but she actually OPENED UP and you MOCKED her. That really would have hurt he and it is no wonder she stayed with her sister.

I hope you have had LOTS of practice at apologizing. Because you'll definitely need it.

For your question, YES YOU WERE.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

NO!! you were only joking...she needs to understand that!!

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A female reader, MommyOfOne United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

MommyOfOne agony auntOh my god. That was so wrong of you.

Brace yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if she packed her stuff and left your butt.

Why in the world would you do something like that?!

That was a horrible thing to do! The best thing you can do is get on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness.

And don't ever do that again. To her, or anyone else if she leaves you. Which wouldn't surprise me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

omg dude...y would u do that? i know you were horny. but you knew she had insecurities. When u opened the door she was obviously ready to show them to u but you ruined it by making your comment. you should always make the person you love feel comfortable with themselves no matter what and you def didnt do that the other night. shes not answering your calls because shes highly upset and embarrassed so show her that u care by sincerely apolagizing and doing w.e. u can to make her genuinely feel good about herself!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

uh yeah, why you anyone do that!?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009):

I AGREE! If you knew she was already self conscious about them to begin with and she stormed out the room, why even joke about it after the fact? You need to apologize. That wasn't smart what you did.

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

sappygirl agony auntyou are very insensitive and a big jerk. She trusted you and you blew it. I don't know about asshole..,but very immature and inconsiderate. Apologize with flowers and everything in the book

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A female reader, PunkyPippi United States +, writes (19 January 2009):

PunkyPippi agony auntYES

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